Acceptance

As a new mom, I've felt tempted many times to give in and give up when I seem to be faced with what feels like insurmountable obstacles. Launder, scrub, change the baby, feed the baby, repeat. In these superficially mundane tasks it is easy to feel disconnected from God and his almighty ways. This week, I have begun reading the Psalms, and I have been so refreshed by them. I'm only to the fourth Psalm, but I'm already so renewed. It is said that David was a man after God's own heart, but I can't help but think that I am a woman after David's heart! What I mean is that David was so honest about his emotions. So raw about his pain. So open about his conflicting thoughts and deepest hurts and most glorious triumphs. It's all there in the book of Psalms. It makes me feel so connected to David to see my own emotions reflected right there on the page. Anyway, through my readings this week I've realized that God not only sees my mundane chores, He is just as much glorified through them as he is through Pastor Randy's preaching on Sunday mornings!

For me, it was getting past the gratification part. When you think about it, and Donald Miller (author of Blue Like Jazz, a favorite book of mine) once put it this way, the root of all sin is really our own selfishness. Human beings are basically only out for numero uno. Ever notice how we never really do anything unless we get something out of it? Want to donate to a charity? You'll get a tax write-off. Want to send money to orphans in Africa? We'll send you a free gift. And that's what I mean when I say it was all about me getting past the gratification part of work. I felt like I always needed a pat on the back when I did something, like if someone doesn't see it, then what's the point?? I see where you might think this is pretty immature and selfish of me and it is. However, I also believe that this is something that every human heart can identify with whether you want to admit it or not. This is real, ugly, sinful-heart stuff. So anyway, my amazing spiritual leader of a husband also told me this week to start praying that, as the verse says, all the work I do would be as if I were working for the Lord. I have read that verse many times, but it never really sunk in until I became a mom.

Being a mom is a selfless task, and one that I don't know if I'll ever master. By nature, I can be very selfish. I think this probably comes from having one of the most unselfish, self-sacrificing moms around. Not that she made me selfish. I just never had to learn to be unselfish. Mom always said I should have had more younger siblings and that they would have taught me to be more unselfish and giving. If my parents are guilty of anything, it's probably loving and giving too much to my brother and myself. I learned a lot about self-sacrificial love because of them. A cool thing that God has most of us mom's immediately hot-wired for, however, is sacrificing for our kids. And I'm relatively sure my husband would say dads are much the same way. As a mom I still have to fight some selfish tendencies, but the Lord definitely gives you a natural, in-born drive to sacrifice for your kids.

Which leads me to my main point. Or my second point. Or my third rambling. Whatever you want to call it: Staring down at this unbelievable little person lying in her crib makes me want to be a better person. And not just a neat-freak, fix-dinner-every-night-while-wearing-heels, Martha Stuart-ish type of perfectionist mom (which I'm tempted every day to reach for and never attain), but a real person. A person with flaws but who loves Jesus with her whole heart and who shows her daughter the way without telling her. A woman who sings her heart out for the Lord and lives by his Word and serves others. A mom who pours her whole heart, mind, and strength out for her family because she knows that it's the Lord's plan for her to serve her husband and raise her children even though that's not exactly part of her college degree.

So please pray for me that I'll be obedient to the Lord in all these things and find daily contentment in my anointed tasks as a mom. I think that's the only path to fulfillment in life. I encourage you to pray and seek what work the Lord has for you to do to serve him. It may not be glamorous, but I promise you it's beautiful in His eyes. It's only in acceptance of what God's will is for our lives right now that we find true peace. I'll end this post with an apropos poem by Amy Carmichael, a woman-missionary who spent her life pouring out herself for the Lord.

In Acceptance Lieth Peace

He said, "I will forget the dying faces;
The empty places,
They shall be filled again.
O voices mourning deep within me, cease.
'But vain the word; vain, vain;
Not in forgetting lieth peace.

He said, 'I will crowd action upon action,
The strife of faction
Shall stir me and sustain;
O tears that drown the fire of manhood, cease.
'But vain the word; vain, vain;
Not in endeavor lieth peace.

He said 'I will withdraw me and be quiet,
Why meddle in life's riot?
Shut be my door to pain.
Desire, thou dost befool me, thou shalt cease.
'But vain the word; vain, vain;
Not in aloofness lieth peace.

He said, 'I will submit; I am defeated.
God hath depleted
My life of its rich gain,
O futile murmurings, why will ye not cease?
'But vain the word; vain, vain;
Not in submission lieth peace.

He said, 'I will accept the breaking sorrow
Which God tomorrow
Will to His son explain.
'Then did the turmoil deep within him cease.
Not vain the word, not vain;
For in acceptance lieth peace.

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Oh, and on a separate note: we went for a nurse-visit to get the Prevnar vaccine today. It's the one that helps prevent infections such as meningitis. Anne-Kelly did great. Cried a little, but forgot all about it as soon as I gave her her milk! She was such a champ. And she weighs fourteen pounds now! She's almost tripled in weight since she was born. I can't believe it. God is SO good. :) Many thanks for all the prayers.

mmmm....honesty

I won't say, "It's been a while" like I normally do when I begin my blogs. Even though, yes, since Anne-Kelly has been here it always does seem to be a long while between my blogs. Anyway, it's a busy life, and I do the best I can. That's all we're doing, right?

It is with that question in mind that I write tonight. I just received an email from my mother-in-law, Sandy, expressing her feelings about going through the loss of her beloved husband, Gary. It's been a hard few months since his death, and it's gotten even harder. For those of you all who don't know, we lost Gary's only brother, Dale, to a similar brain tumor on October 8, exactly six months to the day since my father-in-law's death. As if the brain tumor diagnoses weren't strange enough, huh?

Anyway, as you can probably guess, this has put no small strain on the McDaris family and those who love them (there are a lot of you out there: thank you!) Getting through the death of one loved one is hard enough, but dealing with two is nearly impossible, it seems. And after I say the word impossible, that verse about nothing being impossible with God pops into my head. But let's be honest. I know that some might consider what I'm about to say blasphemy, but it's the truth, at least for me. Bible verses like that do provide comfort, don't get me wrong. But in the here and now, things do seem pretty impossible sometimes, at least for people like my mother-in-law and our aunt Whitney (Dale's wife) and the parents of both Gary and Dale. And if I were them (which I'm not and can't officially speak for them), I would feel pretty defeated.

So I guess I say all that to say: I'm proud of my mother-in-law and the fact that she is so honest about her struggles. I think it takes a lot of courage to admit that you're not a superhero in your grieving process. No one is, but just like anything else in life, people like to pretend when they're going through something that they're coping really well. However, it's only through admitting our struggles that we are able to really comfort one another. The brutality of being completely honest is so empowering. For example, Sandy helps Whitney because she is so open. She doesn't just quote a bible verse at her and tell her that that should get her through. She tells her that she gets upset and cries in department stores and over ticket stubs. This is all incredibly normal stuff, but a lot of people that are going through it don't realize that it's normal because everyone is afraid to admit it. This also applies to me as a new mom. If other moms who have been new moms didn't admit to me that they too didn't have perfectly clean houses with laundry always done, I would never know that I wasn't a total mess. Sometimes I feel like a total mess, but I know that I'm really not, thanks to friends like Sheena Abrams and Mary Kury and Angie Gibson. And I hope that I can be that sort of comfort to my friends who are about to become parents. People need people. Honestly. God didn't put us all here to not be there for each other. My friends Kristy and Chelsea and Anna are really good at that. So is Alyson Nelson. And more than anybody, my friend Ameroy seems to have this weird sixth sense sort of knack to know when to send me a card. Usually they come on days when I'm feeling completely defeated and I just cry when I open them at the mailbox. Sometimes I feel terrible because I don't send that many cards, but it's just not my thing like it is Ameroy's. And she gets that, and this is why she and I work so well as friends.

So I guess I end this rambling blog by saying that I really appreciate all my good girlfriends that make me feel a little less insane every day. I could not make it without you girls. And I know that you ladies will be the ones who will hold me up should I ever go through something as excruciating as losing a spouse. And please know that I'm here to hold you up as well. So don't be afraid to ask.

And now I leave you with an adorable photo of my darling daughter dressed as a horse on Halloween, sitting next to her cute buddy Cameron....

a word of peace for us busy folks

Title: The Calm Spirit of Christ
Author: Elisabeth Elliot

Today is moving day. There will be plenty of reason for fretting and stewing, impatience, and turbulence. I am one who seems to feel that unless I do things or unless they are done my way, they will not be done right, and the day will disintegrate. But I have been watching the sea--very turbulent this morning because of a tropical storm hundreds of miles away--and I remember Him whose word was enough to calm it.

Speak that word to me today, dear Lord: peace. Let your calm spirit, through the many potentially rough minutes of this day, in every task, say to my soul, Be still. Even this day's chaos, with all its clutter and exertion, will be ordered by your quiet power if my heart is subject to your word of peace. Thank You, Lord.

Annie K at almost three months!

I know it has been far too long since I updated on the world of mommyhood. It is a mysterious and wonderful world, let me tell you :) For example: it is mysterious because you find out things you never knew like how a 9-week-old can rival her daddy in the sheer volume produced when passing gas. I found this out the hard, and embarrassing I might add, way. I was at the public library, standing in line to check out, when Anne-Kelly, seemingly asleep and unaware in her carseat carrier, toots. And when I say toots I'm really being nice. The word that describes the sound that came out of my child is really more well described by that word that begins with an "f" and ends in "art." So she makes this noise, and the whole library looks toward me. I sheepishly shake my head and say, "I'm sorry, she just doesn't seem to have the whole 'social graces' thing down quite yet." Mortifying, I'm telling you. So that's the mysterious world of child-rearing.

However, like I said above, there are a multitude of WONDERFUL parts. For example: as I write this she is curled up in a precious little ball lying on my chest. She had a tummy-ache earlier, and I am so relieved that she is now sleeping soundly. Anyone who has ever had children knows how terrible you feel when your little one is hurting and you feel like there is nothing you can do to help him or her. That was me about three hours ago. But how wonderful it is to watch her breathe deeply and sleep soundly. She is such an angel. And a lot of people say, "Oh yes, they're angels - when they're sleeping!" But my girl is really an angel all the time, even when she's screaming at the top of her lungs. She is such a blessing from the Lord, and I try to remind myself of that every single day. The Word is true when it says that every good and perfect gift is from above. A couldn't imagine a more good or more perfect gift than Anne-Kelly.

Thank you, Lord.

who knew I had a business side?

So prepare to be shocked and awed:

I am now a businesswoman. Yes, you heard it here first. Rachel has officially started her own business. Also, Anne-Kelly is VP of the company. :)

But seriously, I have begun my foray into the business world this week with the announcement of my debut as an Independent Consultant with Mary Kay. I cannot begin to tell you how excited I am about my new venture. As most of you know, I am staying at home with Anne-Kelly (my first, and most important, vocation), but if you know me well at all, you know that I am not the type to merely sit at home and not do anything. For a long time, I felt God calling me toward ministering to other women, and after some very intense prayer and a wonderful weekend listening to Beth Moore (ah! love her.), I finally made up my mind. I would start my Mary Kay business.

Now, how in the world does ministering to women have anything to do with Mary Kay, you might ask? I can't wait to tell you.

If you know anything about Mary Kay Ash, the founder of Mary Kay, you'd know that she always put God first. And not only that, she said to put your family second, and then your career third. Some women might say that putting your career backseat is not a wise choice, but I promise you that Mary Kay Ash had it just right. She was a woman after my own heart. A half-and-halfer, as you might call us. Half career-woman, half momma, you might say. And she summed it all up by telling her consultants to go out and treat their customers the way they would want to be treated. Basically, she said to live and work by the Golden Rule. To build relationships with other women, show them how the products can make them feel good about themselves, and then the selling part really just happens. Now this brings me back to my initial point: how being a Mary Kay consultant lines up with my calling to minister to women.

Every time I have ever had the opportunity to interact with a woman through Mary Kay, whether it's through hosting a party, attending a party, having a facial, or just running into one another, I have the opportunity to enrich that woman's life somehow. Life is hard enough, and as I heard Beth Moore say, "Most of us are running on total exhaustion." Through building positive relationships with other women, I learn about what burdens they are bearing and how I can pray for them. And the added bonus is that I get to use Mary Kay's products to make their gorgeous outside appearances match their beautiful hearts. And if every woman is like me, that makes me feel good. That lifts my burden, at least for a little while. And I consider that to be an excellent profession to be in. So while my official title is Mary Kay Independent Beauty Consultant.....you could really call me a Mary Kay Independent Burden-Lifter. They're really one in the same, ask my friend and fellow consultant, Elizabeth :)

So ladies, if you're carrying a burden (and I know we all are): please call me and let me pamper you for an hour or two. Get some of your friends together, and I would love to come over and make y'all feel good about your selves! I can't think of a more fun time :) Feel free to email me if you would like to set up a facial or a party: rachel.mcdaris@marykay.com Also, if you're just needing to order a few things, I am here for that as well.

the smile that lit up my world.

So Anne-Kelly has started smiling in the last week! At first, it was just those little practice smiles in her sleep, but now she has started full-fledged smiling. When Brent got home from work yesterday, he squatted down in front of her (she was still in her car seat carrier, as we had just returned home as well) and she broke into the biggest smile! It was like she almost laughed and said, "Daddy, I'm so glad you're home!!" This made both of our days. Funny how one little smile can mean so much.
I cannot believe how fast she has developed. One month ago she was only able to express unhappiness by crying, but now she can show us she's happy, sad, amused, content, etc. Also, she couldn't focus at first, but now she's following faces, toys, and, her favorite, the ceiling fan. I can't wait to see what she's going to do next! I'm so in love.

Which is probably the reason why I haven't updated my blog as often since her birth. I've been crazy busy! If you've never taken care of a newborn you really haven't lived. It's growing both Brent and me in ways that we could have never imagined, both good and bad. It's definitely challenging, but more than that, I feel immeasurably blessed to be trusted with this precious life. She is such a sweet angel.


I took her to the pediatrician for her six week check-up this morning. They were very pleased with her progress. Since she started out weighing only five lbs. eight oz., they were very excited that she now weighs seven lbs. six-and-a-half oz. She's also now 21 inches long, which means she's grown over two inches since birth! Also, she is now nursing like a professional, which explains why she's growing so well. That is a huge answered prayer for me and for Brent.


On a separate note, Brent has been rather stressed out lately and could use some prayer. He has had to go to Charlotte for a week out of the month already, and he has to return all next week for a course on welding inspection (Can you believe I remembered what it was called, honey???).

Apparently the course is really tough, and Brent is already studying in the evenings this week. Please pray that he would have a good week during the course next week, and that he would easily absorb the knowledge and therefore, do well on the test next Saturday.

Since Brent is going away again, I am going to go back to Kentucky for a visit. I was just there last week, and I had originally planned for AK and I to go to Charlotte with him next week. But since it's going to be such a stressful course, he decided it might be better for him to go alone. I imagine that it might be very difficult to study with Anne around, as she's not exactly a quiet baby in the evenings :)


None of my family is very upset that I'm coming back next week, as they were all quite taken with her last week. My dad's mom, who I call Nanny, spent most of last week rocking Anne-Kelly and singing to her (Nanny is notorious for singing a spectacular rendition of "You are My Sunshine"). And last weekend, Sandy and Trey (Brent's mom and brother) came to visit. We had a great time, but it was also a bittersweet weekend, as Sunday would have been Brent's dad's 47th birthday. I think that being all together helped Sandy immeasurably. I was glad.


Well, this sweet baby is waking up, so that's all I know to tell you. Now back to my regular routine: watching the Andy Griffith Show and nursing this baby. It sure is an exciting life that I lead!

my return from oblivion.

So it has been a long while since the last time I wrote. For those of you who don't know....I am now a mother! I know Brent wrote in the blog since Anne-Kelly's birth, but I figured it was about time for me to come out of hiding. Blame it on new-mothering, blame it on hormones, or blame it on the fact that the last few weeks have been some of the craziest of my life, but I honestly haven't had the time to write. So let me recount the whole experience from the beginning:

In my last post, I think I wrote about feeling "anxious" and "anticipatory" about Anne-Kelly's birth. I was being a bit coy, as I knew I was being induced on the 17th :) Please forgive me, everyone, but we wanted to keep it quiet as to not worry anyone. They made the decision to induce after the many weeks of checking on AK and my supposedly faulty placenta. Once I reached 39 weeks, the doctors said, there was a greater risk of leaving her in me and my placenta breaking down and cutting off her oxygen and nutritional supply than taking her out and her being fine. Apparently babies are full term anytime after 38 weeks. Who knew? Needless to say, it was first hard to hear the news that my hopes for a completely natural labor were shattered. But, after a lot of prayer, as you might note from my earlier posts, I realized that the safety of our child was the most important factor. So I agreed to the induction. And on the night of the 16th, Brent and I went on over to Greenville Memorial Hospital and checked in. They administered a medicine to cause my cervix to efface (thin out), and I was a bit worried about possibly not progressing well as my cervix was only 25% effaced and 1 cm dilated. A lot of first-timers end up with caesarean sections because they fail to progress when induced, and that was my biggest fear. So I prayed that the Lord's will would prevail, but if I'm honest, I also begged the Lord to please please please let me progress! I also still wanted to go as far as I could without intervention and pain meds.

So, at seven am on the morning of the 17th, I was hooked up to an I.V. drip of Pitocin (or the devil drug as I fondly call it!). Almost immediately the contractions began - wham! Then Dr. Twedt came in and basically gave me an ultimatum: let me break your water and progress faster or don't break your water and you might still be here when we change shifts in 24 hours. I really didn't want my water broken, but I eventually agreed as I wanted to progress as effectively as possible. A word to the wise: if you are ever in labor and are offered the option of having your water broken, be prepared for the intensity to change significantly as soon as that water gets broken. My contractions went from about a 3 on the pain scale to an immediate 9 or 10 after Dr. Twedt took care of business. However, thanks to our fabulous Bradley method instruction (I love you, Mary!) we were able to handle this intensity by using our various positions and strategies. Mary had told me during our training that I would quickly figure out what worked for me and what didn't, as far as what was comfortable during labor and delivery. That was obvious. I absolutely hated laboring while standing up. I loved being on all fours over the birth ball. I also loved sitting with my legs crossed while Brent held heat to my back (ah! how I loved back labor.). But my favorite position was on the porcelain throne. I'll just leave that to your imagination.

Anyway, all of this labor went on for a few hours, and Michelle, my fabulous nurse, came in to check me. The contractions had been intense, and I fully expected to be at least at a 5. She checked me, and I was a THREE. "A three?!" I said. I couldn't believe it. So upsetting after all my hard work. However, this was at about noon, and suddenly my contractions changed, as did my state of mind. Up until then, I felt very "in control" and focused. I didn't want anyone touching me or talking to me during contractions. I often hummed the melody of "In Christ Alone" during my contractions. However, when everything changed around noon, I felt totally out of control. I began doubting myself and begging Brent for me to take me out of my misery. It was at this point that I began contemplating getting an epidural. If we had paid attention to our Bradley training, we would have realized that I was in transition. For those of you who don't know, transition is the period of labor right before you begin pushing. It is characterized by contractions that are not only intensely and unbearably painful, but also by a change in a woman's state of mind to this "out of control" and "overwhelmed" mentality. Unfortunately, as this was our first baby, and because the nurses told us that I had "at least three or four more hours until pushing" we finally broke down and said that we would like to have pain relief.

So in comes the anaesthesiologist, and they administer the epidural all while I'm in excruciating pain. I jokingly told Brent that I was glad there weren't any sharp objects in the room at this point, because I was indeed ready to put myself out of my own misery! So they give me the epidural, which by the way, I didn't even notice going in, and guess what?? It doesn't take. My left leg gets a little tingly, and that's it! It was at about this time that I started telling my nurse that she might want to check me because I felt a lot of pressure down in "that area." This, to them, was totally unexpected, as I was a first time mom, and as I said above, it's rare for it to go quickly for a first-timer. So she checks my cervix, laughs, and says, "This girl is at a NINE! You'll be pushing in just a minute." So unfortunately, the nurse anaethetist takes this to mean that I needed even more numbing meds, which I didn't want at all. So she shoots even more epidural medicine into the catheter. Great.

On a side note, my mom and my mother-in-law, Sandy, were both planning on being in on the delivery. This was something we had worked out and wanted from the beginning. Because they thought that I was going to be at least three or four more hours, my mom and dad as well as Sandy headed downstairs to eat lunch. So when Brent found out that we were about to have a baby, he texted his mom, and she told my mom and dad. Apparently it was very dramatic as they all raced upstairs and into the room. I imagine it being something like what you might see on an episode of Friends, haha.

So in they come, all three of them (including my dad, who ended up being there as well) just as I'm getting ready to push. I was still not numb, which was great, because I got to feel my entire delivery, just as I wanted to do. The whole pushing process took place over the course of only a few contractions, and I pushed a total of about six times. Giving birth to Anne-Kelly was the most amazingly exhilirating experience of my life! It is not the horrible experience that so many women tell about. It was perfect. It was like I knew that this moment was what God made me to do. I'd never felt stronger in my life. Right after her birth, they placed her on my chest, and I got to bond with her immediately. This was an amazing blessing.

Unfortunately, the extra epidural meds kicked in about a half hour after her birth, and then I went numb from the chest down. This was a bit scary, as I felt like I couldn't breathe. This sort of ruined a few hours for me, but after such an amazing birth, I try not to focus on this part too much. No one's birth experience can go completely perfectly.

But the important part is that God is, as usual, so good. And in the words of my favorite musician, Sara Groves, "He's always been faithful to me." And more than ever, he was on the day of my sweet girl's birth.

So, since her birth, we have had many visitors and lots of happenings, both good and bad. My mom has been so gracious to stay with me and help care for Anne-Kelly during my recovery, which hasn't been exactly complication-free. Long story short, I had some prolonged bleeding in the two weeks after the birth, and I had to have outpatient surgery last Friday to remove fragments of retained placenta, which is what was causing the bleeding. This was not exactly a lot of fun, but I got through it, again, with the Lord's help. Unfortunately, they did a spinal block for this surgery, and I ended up with a spinal headache that just now went away three or four days later! I'm not complaining, but I've definitely learned why the saying goes, "When it rains, it pours!"

So enough about me! I have a couple other updates and prayer requests.

Unfortunately, our family has been hit with yet another tragedy. As I've spoken about earlier, Brent's dad died in April after a long battle against brain cancer. In the past week, Gary's brother, Dale, has undergone brain surgery for what appears to be some sort of mass on in the cerebellum portion of his brain. We don't yet know if the mass is the same kind of cancer that Gary had, but we should know within a few days. Also, Dale is being moved to the rehab hospital here in Greenville and is not yet able to go home, as he is not recovering as quickly as the doctors hoped he would after his surgery. Please pray for his recovery and for a more positive diagnosis.

In spite of all these happenings, we still hang on to these words: "Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:16-18

This is our promise. I'll leave you with this last thought from my favorite author Elisabeth Elliot. This was the daily devotional for today on her website, and it really spoke to my heart. Hope it does yours some good as well.

Title: God's Secret Purpose
Author: Elisabeth Elliot

Whatever the enemy of our souls can do to instill doubt about the real
purpose of the Father of our souls, he will certainly try to do. "Hath God
said?" was his question to Eve, and she trusted him, the enemy, and doubted God.
Each time the suspicion arises that God is really "out to get us," that He is
bent on making us miserable or thwarting any good we might seek, we are calling
Him a liar. His secret purpose has been revealed to us, and it is to bring us
finally, not to ruin, but to glory. That is precisely what the Bible tells us:
"His secret purpose framed from the very beginning [is] to bring us to our full
glory" (1 Cor 2:7 NEB).

I know of no more steadying hope on which to focus my mind when
circumstances tempt me to wonder why God doesn't "do something." He is always
doing something--the very best thing, the thing we ourselves would certainly
choose if we knew the end from the beginning. He is at work to bring us to our
full glory.

Copyright 1985, used with permission

Anne-Kelly’s Birthday!

So this is my first time writing on this blog as I have not had much extra time to write.  Plus, Rachel has been doing such a good job at it, and I am definitely not a writer! 

But as you may already know, at 1:54 pm on Wednesday, June 17th 2009, Anne-Kelly Grace McDaris was born into this world.  She has been such a blessing to Rachel and I.  It’s amazing how you can instantly love someone so much.    

Rachel and the baby are both healthy which is such a blessing!  They weighed Anne-Kelly after her birth and she weighed 5 lbs and 8 oz.  I was able to cut the cord and put her first diaper on which was an awesome experience for me.  My mother and both of Rachel’s parents were able to attend the birth and we were all so overwhelmed with joy when we saw her for the first time.  It was definitely the best experience of my life and it has made my love and appreciation for Rachel grow immensely. 

I really wish I could’ve shared the experience with my Dad.  He loved her so much from the beginning and couldn’t wait to meet her.  However, God had other plans.   And although we don’t always understand his plans, it greatly comforts me to know that his plans are always the best plans. One thing I am very thankful for is that Dad was able to see her in the 4D ultrasound.  He was happy to see her and I’m so glad God gave us that opportunity.    

We went home Friday and it was nerve-racking for me as I made the 15-20 min drive home.  God has been great and ever present throughout labor and delivery and my prayers from now on will be that we will be great parents to her and that we will raise her to love the Lord with all her heart, soul, mind and strength.  

God Bless!

-Brent

Packing packing packing!

So I devoted today to hospital packing. Funny, though, how I'm still only halfway done. I just cannot seem to get myself motivated! I find that as Anne-Kelly's birthday draws closer, I find myself becoming more introverted and pensive. I think it's really starting to settle in, the fact that I'm going to be a mother. I'm not afraid or nervous, really, and though it may be due to sheer ignorance, I like to believe that it's more due to the fact that we're simply trusting the Lord. He blessed us with this sweet little girl, and we feel ready to be her parents.



I must admit I do have some apprehension about the labor and delivery process, but I cling to God's promise: "No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it." (1 Corinthians 10:13) We know that God has equipped us for this process. And also, it excites me to know that I am about to experience one of the most, if not the most, important things that God designed me to do as a woman. I talk to so many moms that say that giving birth was the most empowering experience in their lives. I cannot wait for that feeling!



Just a little day-to-day update: Brent and I are still graciously blessed to have a houseguest for a few more days. My mom has been visiting all week, and my dad is coming back to get her tomorrow evening. We had to wait until he could get a couple days off together to come and get her. She has been such a blessing while here; she helps me with cleaning, laundry, meals, etc. I know that she'll be invaluable to have around once Anne-Kelly is here, but she's helping my tired, nine-month-pregnant self out pretty well right now, too. :) Also, I go for a dr.'s appointment tomorrow morning at 8:30, so be in prayer for that.



Another exciting update: we've finally found a church that we love. I mentioned awhile back that we were planning on visiting Simpsonville First Baptist, and we have been so blessed every time we walk through the doors. The pastor, Randy Harling, is a solid biblical teacher, which is something that is important to both Brent and to me. Additionally, we've twice-attended Sunday School in a young couples class, and we have felt so at home and welcome. I even met a "kindred spirit" in the class, a sister in Christ who I feel like I've honestly known my whole life. What a blessing Anna already is to me. I'd been long-praying that God would provide me with solid Christian girlfriends, and he is answering that prayer! Brent and I are both excited to get to know more of the men and women in our Sunday School class. We've already had so many offers for people to do things for us when Anne-Kelly arrives. God's people are so kind.

Finally, I want to leave you with a thought from my daily devotional. It's a short verse copied from a devotion written by Anne Ortlund:

The light of God surrounds me;

The love of God enfolds me;

The power of God protects me;

The presence of God watches over me;

Wherever I am, God is.

In Christ alone, my hope is found...

I love the song, "In Christ Alone." I realize that you guys are probably thinking, "Oh gosh, she's talking about another song she loves." Haha, well I guess that just shows how big a part of my life music is. This particular song is one that is so very close to my heart. I've known it for several years, and I have often delighted in its words and sweet melody at various times in my life. The most recent time that I've had the opportunity to share this beloved song with others was at the funeral service of my father-in-law, Gary McDaris. I poured over various ideas when I was preparing for the service, and I wanted to pick just the right song in order to reflect the life-message of such an amazing Christian man. So it was no surprise that this song kept coming to mind.

Now, as I approach what I feel is probably one of the most important days of my life, I find myself full of thoughts, worries, and hopes. The juxtaposition of all these contrasting emotions has me feeling rather overwhelmed at times, and it is in those times that I just have to cry out to my heavenly Father for wisdom. Today, the wisdom he provided was through the words of this song. I was sitting at my piano and had been playing a few songs by my favorite artist, Sara Groves, when I decided to switch gears and look up the chords for some new praise and worship material. So I pull out the laptop and start looking things up. Somehow I end up on YouTube, as usual, and I type in something about worship songs or something. This great video that is set to Keith and Kristine Getty's "In Christ Alone" popped up. Wow, did the Lord ever speak to me through it. Again, this amazing little song washed over my heart and brought tears to my eyes. I encourage you to watch it. Go here to access the video.

Time to eat dinner - more posts coming soon!

Pool days and other musings

If I didn't mention in an earlier post, my mom is visiting this week. I always love having mom here, and she has been such a big help throughout my pregnancy. It was my birthday yesterday, and we had a great time shopping with my new friend from church, Anna. Anna is also a pretty amazing girl, and I am so glad that I met her! It's really kind of weird how much alike we are in some ways, but I told her she's the better-behaved, prettier version of me. Mostly I think this because I'm constantly putting my foot in my mouth, a personality trait that I'm afraid has worsened as I have gotten more and more pregnant. More on this later.

Anyway, back to mom: she and I are having a lot of fun hanging out, and we've been to the pool several times since she got here Friday. I have been joking around that I was dead set on NOT matching my hospital gown when I deliver this baby (aka I have to rid myself of my naturally hospital-sheet white complexion.). So, on Saturday, when dad was still here, all of us (mom, dad, me, Brent) ventured over to our neighborhood pool. It's a really nice pool and surrounding area, and our house is less than a ten-minute walk from the pool, so we love the accessibility. So off we go on Saturday. Keep in mind the fact that I hadn't seen my dad in a pool in years, so I was really excited about giving him a hard time when we got there. He's was always brutal to me when I would get in the pool with him growing up (dunking, sneaking up on me, etc. etc.), so I was bound and determined that Brent and I were going to do him in! Well, once we got to the pool, we had to wait around while he sat in his chair wearing his fisherman hat reading a book for about an hour. Finally, we begged him to get in, and he obliged. We all swam around for awhile, and we tried in vain to get dad (or the great white whale, as he called himself). But I tell you what, he's just too sneaky. What actually ended up unfolding really involved my mom. If you don't know my mother very well, let me fill you in: I get my gene for lack of common sense from her side of the family. We're a longgggg line of gullible women (sorry, Meemaw!). My mom is famous for believing pretty much anything that anyone tells her, bless her heart, and she always ends up being the butt of dad's jokes. I think it's sweet and endearing. Plus, I really can't judge her now because I'm just as bad!

Anyway, back to the pool that day. Mom was floating around on my new mesh raft. Dad, of course, felt the need to mess with her. All the sudden, mom yells over to me, "Rach, is this raft different somehow? It feels like it's waving up and down in the water. Does it have a propeller or something???" Poor mom, while she was telling me all this she didn't realize that I had a different perspective from her. Dad was right behind her head, quietly pushing the raft up and down in the water, making mom mistakenly believe the the raft was somehow being "propelled." Wow, ladies and gentlemen: my mother. When we made her aware of what was going on, she of course turned around, yelled "JIM!" and hit dad as hard as she could. Ah, how I love my parents. They crack me up. So anyhow, we never got dad, but mom sure was entertaining.

On a separate note, I went out last night with some new friends from church. We ate downtown at Smoke on the Water, a nice barbecue restaurant that I'd never been to. There were about seven of us there from our Sunday School class, and it was so nice to hang out with a big group of girls. I haven't had any close girlfriends, really, since I moved from Kentucky, and these girls are just wonderful, let me tell ya! It's been hard to find friends as great as the ones I had to leave behind in Kentucky. I was so blessed to have amazing girlfriends that I'd grown up with. But these new friends from church made me feel so at home already. We ended up talking for an hour at least after dinner; Brent thought I was never coming home. God is so good to provide sweet new friends in my life.

However, I did realize one thing after dinner last night. I was driving home with one of the girls, Michelle, who lives down the street from me. I told her how I felt kind of bad because I felt like I monopolized the conversation all night. I am from a long line of talkative women, and when my family is all together, we tend to talk all at the same time. I call it layer-talking because we just kind of talk over each other. I forget that other people aren't like this, and I got to thinking about that last night. Though Michelle, who is an absolute sweetheart, of course told me that I was fine, I still kind of regretted the fact that I talked so much and didn't listen more at dinner. I've been saying for a long time that I've been working on trying to be a better listener, but I feel even more passionate about that now. Didn't some wise person once say that the reason God gave us two ears and one mouth is because we're supposed to listen twice as much as we talk? Please seriously pray for me as I try to reform this part of my character. I feel very convicted about "taming my tongue," and I would appreciate prayer on this subject. :)

Well I guess that's about it for today. Brent and mom are taking me out for dinner tonight for my birthday, since I was out with the girls last night. Now I just have to decide where I want to eat....

'tis so sweet to trust in Jesus...

I entitled this blog, "'Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus" for a few reasons. Let me start out by saying that this has always been one of my favorite hymns, perhaps my most favorite hymn. And if you're my friend on facebook, you might know that I have the words to this very hymn in the"info" section of my profile. The reason I love the words are innumerable, but mostly it's for the pure simplicity and honesty of them:

Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just to take him at his word.
Just to rest upon his promise
Just to know, "Thus saith the Lord!"

Jesus, Jesus, how I trust him,
How I've proved him o'er and o'er.
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus.
Oh for grace to trust him more.

These are only the words of the first verse and chorus, but I encourage you to look up the entire hymn because all the words are equally meaningful.

I have known this old hymn for as long as I can remember, and I have loved it since then as well. My grandmother, Arilla Murley, is a wonderful pianist, even though she plays "by ear" and not "by note." I learned, too, to play by ear before I ever read a note of music, and I remember so many times sitting on a piano bench by Nanny, as we call her, listening as so many beloved melodies flowed out of her fingertips and across the black and white keys. I feel a special connection to my Nanny, as I was named after her. We share the middle name Marie, but it is not all we share. We both have an intense love of music, especially hymns. "'Tis So Sweet to Trust in Jesus" is just one of those hymns.

And it is as this time in my life, when so many things have been unsure, that I remember and take comfort in the words of this song.

Let me explain: I went for a check-up at the doctor today. Don't worry, Anne-Kelly and I are both fine, but the doctors gave me a little reason to be upset. You see, it is our goal to have a natural, husband-coached childbirth. Brent and I have studied the Bradley method carefully in the last couple months, and we also attended some preparation classes. We are praying that I'll go into labor naturally and that we will be able to have a safe, natural, drug-free birth. We believe this to be best for our child. The reason I began to worry today is that my obstetrician said, after examining me, that things were not "progressing" at all. Granted, I am only 38 weeks, so it's not necessarily a bad thing that I wasn't effaced. But if you've had any experience with the obstetrical community of late, you'd know that doctors aren't too big on "waiting around" for babies to come. Inducing has become a trend (an often unnecessary trend, if you ask me.) They like for babies to come on their due dates, and if they don't, the doctors worry that going overdue increases the chance of something happening to mother and baby. So when the doctors look at me, they're especially antsy because they're already paranoid about my placenta aging early. So the doctor said today that if I do not go into labor before my due date, they will likely want to induce me right away. The problem with this is that we believe that if Anne-Kelly isn't ready to come, we shouldn't force her out. And even the doctor said that the likelihood of ending up with a c-section if we are induced is very high. Probably somewhere around fifty-fifty, and maybe even greater than that. This is pretty devastating news to me, as I have my heart set on doing things naturally.

So after coming home from the doctor and thinking things over, I picked up the phone and called our childbirth educator and my new friend, Mary, who always gives sound, wonderful advice. She encouraged me to stand up for what I know is best for my child, but more importantly, she reminded me that I need to trust the Lord and know that he has all of this situation in his most-capable hands. (Thank you, Mary. You are a blessing!!) When I got off the phone, the words of this hymn immediately popped into my head. I couldn't help but think, "Ok, Lord. I understand - this is just another opportunity to grow in our faith and trust in you." I mean, if you think about it, there is no reason to worry. God not only has the ability to orchestrate this whole story; He knows the ending! He knows every day in my sweet Anne-Kelly's life, including the day that he has ordained for her birth (see earlier post for thoughts on this).

So if you don't mind, please unite with us in praying that God would continue to guide us in this situation. Pray that we would be able to discern what is best for our baby, and that the Lord would keep her healthy and strong until the day God has handpicked for her birth. Also, pray that the Lord would be with the doctors who are caring for us, that they would be able to discern what's truly best for Anne-Kelly and myself.

Thanks for reading and praying for us. We are so excited for what's going to happen in the days to come, and we can't wait to share all of these happenings as they unfold. God is so good!!


"Delight yourself in the Lord, and he shall give you the desires of your heart." (Psalm 37:4)

Downtown, darling!

So we just got back from doing a little birthday celebrating in downtown Greenville! I got to pick the restaurant, as I am the birthday girl (June 9!), and so we went to my favorite downtown eatery, Trio. It's a great little brick oven Italian cafe. If you ever get a chance to go: go! They have the most AMAZING tomato basil soup, and even their house salads are delish (that word was for you, Hil.) Also, their bruschetta is amazing. And trust me because I'm basically an expert when it comes to bruschetta. But seriously, anything we've ever gotten at Trio is great, so go out right now and eat there. :)

On a separate note, I am currently typing on my new birthday present: a Dell Studio 17 laptop! It came in today via the FedEx man, and Brent and I are super excited, as we thought it wouldn't be here until next week! We were hoping we'd have it before I went into labor, as we can take it to the hospital and post updates from there, use it to play videos/cds during labor, look up information, etc. I still don't know how to work everything on the computer. Well, really I don't know how to work much of anything except Word and Internet Explorer, but I'm getting the hang of it. It has a built-in webcam though, which will be a neat feature for us to use to talk with grandparents and other faraway relatives. If I figure it out, I can even post videos of Anne-Kelly on here. Don't worry, I'm working on it.

Tomorrow we're attending Simpsonville First Baptist for the second time. We met another couple in our neighborhood who invited us to come last week, and since we haven't really found anywhere that feels like a church home since moving from Anderson, we are very excited about SFB. It felt like a good fit last week, so keep praying that God will show us if this is the right place for our family.

Also, my mom is here this week visiting me. She's hoping I'll go into labor while she's here, so I know that I'm pretty much guaranteed not to go into labor while she's here. God has a sense of humor like that, I think! I keep saying that if Anne-Kelly is like me, she'll most definitely be late for her own birth. She's due June 24th, so she'll probably debut no earlier than July 1. I apologize in advance to the entire McDaris family if I add another July birthday to the bunch :) For those of you who don't know, the McDaris' have nearly every birthday in July: Trey, Gary, Dale, Donald, and a bunch of other people that I can't even begin to remember (preggo brain, forgive me!) were July babies. So I guess one more in the bunch won't make a difference :)

Now it is definitely time for bed. Stay tuned in the days to come for some interesting stories from this weekend's events. With my dad, the closet comedian, around, there's always something entertaining to tell about.

Where IS that hammer!?

So this is going to be a short snippet, as Brent and I have been running around frantically trying to find his hammer! I can hear his dad's voice in my head right now: "always put your tools back where they belong, Brent." Haha - thanks, Gary :)

This is probably just an extension of my preggo-brain. Poor Brent; I'm rubbing off on him.

The reason we're trying to find the hammer is that my parents are due to arrive anytime. We just completed our guest room...well somewhat. We refinished and painted my great-great aunt's iron bed! It's a beautiful piece of furniture, and we painted it a glossy black. I wanted to do a sort of shabby chic, country-charmy sort of guest room. I guess you could call it my Burkesville room, considering it's kind of reminiscent of the overall feeling of the house I grew up in (my parents restored my great-grandmother's farmhouse, and that's where I grew up. I miss it a lot!). Brent also calls the guest room our "girly room" because I bought a quilt for the bed from Cracker Barrel (I know, Cracker Barrel sells lovely quilts - I didn't know either!) that is creme with pink flowers all over it. Quite lovely, really. I'll try and post pictures. Anyways, back to the hammer - we needed it because there is nothing on the walls of the guest room yet. I bought a cool display holder for two antique plates that I found at this cool place down in Williamston called the Pink House. If you ever get down there, go there! It's an amazing little place to find odds and ends if you like antiques like me :) I like for everything in my house to feel like it has a story....I guess it's the Hawthorne-loving Romantic in me.

Ah! So the blog is now officially over. Brent just found the hammer. Wahoo!!!

The Case of the Missing Brain

I aptly entitled this blog, "The Case of the Missing Brain," because it basically fits what I've been going through lately! My ability to remember anything seemed to disappear as soon as I became nine months pregnant! And it's not only remembering things that I'm having trouble with (you know, the sort of...."I just walked into this room to get something, but now I can't remember what it is" kind of thing), but I'm also just plain, outright spacey! Now, I know some of you are just sitting there thinking to yourselves, "Rachel - you've always been a little spacey." Ok, point well taken. I am not exactly always overflowing in the common sense department, but things around here these days are just getting ridiculous! So, in the interest of this "case study," let me present some circumstantial evidence:

• Two nights ago, Brent and I had just gotten into bed and were trying to fall asleep when I suddenly remarked: "Gosh, it would be nice if we had a ceiling fan in here. I am so hot!" Well, needless to say Brent started laughing, looked at me, and said: "Honey, we have a ceiling fan. Look up." Totally forgot that I had a ceiling fan in my room! Now...how does that happen!?
• The other evening, things were winding down for the day, and I asked Brent if he would mind refilling my water bottle (or Nalgene as I call it). It had water in it, so Brent asked why I needed it refilled. I told him that I'd filled it up when I was at the pool earlier and it just didn't taste right! Again, Brent starts cackling and looking at me sideways. Then he remarks: "Honey, no wonder it doesn't taste good if you filled it up with pool water!" Ok, in my defense: I didn't fill it up with pool water. I filled it at the water fountain at the pool! However, I seem to have lost the ability to express myself clearly, so Brent just assumed that I had, indeed, been drinking pool water for several hours.

These are just two examples of what I've been going through. Ok, so I realize this is a little bit comical. It's just really hard to remember to do things! I know what you're thinking: make a to-do list, right? Well, the problem is that I make the to-do list, but then I lose it! Haha. Great, I know. I guess this is just how it's going to be from now on. Lots of moms, new and experienced, have told me that your brain subsequently disappears more and more after each child. So I'll be very interested to see how I'm doing by number three!

On a separate note, I went to perinatology (or paleontology, as I sometimes accidentally call it!), which is the specialist we've had to go to to do some growth scans for Anne-Kelly every three weeks. As I said in my earlier post, I had to quit working around 31 weeks. Long story short: I was measuring small, and they sent me to the specialist to make sure Annie was growing ok. The way they measure a baby for growth is by looking at the baby's head, abdomen, and femur (leg) length, and then averaging them. Annie looked normal in every other way, but her little abdomen seemed tiny. So, they said it could be caused by a number of things: 1. I could be getting preeclamptic/toxemia, 2. My placenta could be lagging a bit and not delivering nutrition completely normally, or 3. She could just be a small person! So, we went back after three more weeks (34 weeks), and everything looked good. Her abdomen was still small, but that was when they said it's definitely not preeclampsia, and if my placenta is lagging, it's not enough for her to really suffer. The only way it's affecting her is the fact that she's not quite gaining belly fat. They explained that when a baby's nutrition is a little compromised, that's the way that they "take care of themselves." They're fine without belly fat, so they conserve all the blood flow for their brains, kidneys, etc. And the good news it that I went back this morning at 37 weeks, and they told me I don't have to come back and see them anymore! Wahoo! They said that even though her belly is still little, she seems absolutely normal in every other way, so they're going to leave us alone! This is an answered prayer and a huge blessing. Please just pray that Annie-K continues to grow, and that once she's out here in the world that she'll really start packing on the pounds once I can start nursing her. Also, they think she's about 5 pounds 8 ounces right now, which is great :) If she stays in until 40 weeks (due date), they said she'll probably be somewhere between six and seven pounds.

All this excitement in the past few weeks surrounding Anne-Kelly has taught me a lot. I initially went into the situation with a "woe is me" mentality, worrying about every possibility, and basically trying to take care of things myself. I'm a "fixer" and a "doer" as I'm sure most of you know, and when something is out of my control, I'm usually not a big fan of it. This experience has been a wake-up-call from the Lord, saying, "Rachel: I know you better than you know yourself. I know what is best for you. Trust me." I've heard this over and over and over in my head for many weeks now, and it took a while before I accepted it. However, I have realized that fighting God and accepting His plan are two totally different things. By fighting His will, I felt like Jonah and the whale. I just kept getting swallowed up, overwhelmed, and enveloped in my own self-absorbed darkness. When I realized that by "casting my cares on the Lord" (1 Peter 5:7), I was really letting go of them myself, I felt an amazing burden lift. Instead of being in the belly of my own proverbial whale, I then found myself in a different Biblical tale: walking on the water with Christ. I know this is a familiar story to most of us, but I felt just like Peter when Jesus asked him to get out of the boat and step on to the waves. That water sure did look deep, but when I looked away from the water and into the face of Christ, I forgot all about my worries. And I can't tell you what a freeing experience it is to know that Jesus has all of my life in his more-than-capable hands. And more than that, to know that he has Anne-Kelly's life in his hands as well is pretty humbling.

As parents, and I use the term sparingly because I realize I'm not quite there yet and really have no wisdom on the subject, it seems like we always assume that we know what is best for our children. Amazing how these feeling cropped up for me even at this early stage. But how liberating it is to know that God not only knows me, but he knows Anne-Kelly and He sees every day of the life He has set before her. Wow! So I leave you with these words by David from the book of Psalm. I hope you read them, take them to heart, and stand in wonder at God Almighty who knows us all better than we know ourselves.

O LORD, you have searched me and known me!

You know when I sit down and when I rise up;

you discern my thoughts from afar.

You search out my path and my lying down

and are acquainted with all my ways.

Even before a word is on my tongues,

behold, O LORD, you know it altogether.

You hem me in, behind and before,

and lay your hand upon me.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;

it is high; I cannot attain it.

Where shall I go from your Spirit?

Or where shall I flee from your presence?

If I ascend to heaven, you are there!

If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!

If I take the wings of the morning

and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,

even there your hand shall lead me,

and your right hand shall hold me.

If I say, "Surely the darkness shall cover me,

and the light about me be night,"

even the darkness is not dark to you;

the night is bright as the day,

the darkness is as light with you.

For you formed my inward parts;

you knitted me together in my mother's
womb.

I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

Wonderful are your works;

my soul knows it very well.

My frame was not hidden from you,

when I was being made in
secret,

intricately woven in the depths of the
earth.

Your eyes saw my unformed substance;

in your book were written, every one of
them,

the days that were formed for
me,

when as yet there was none of
them.

- Psalm 139:1-16

A fresh start.

I have been meaning to actually start our family's blog back up for quite some time now. We're quickly approaching our due date with Anne-Kelly (3 weeks!), and I feel like a royal failure considering that I haven't started this up earlier.

As most of you know, Brent and I are living in Mauldin, SC, and our family and friends are spread out literally all over the US! So...we decided blogging would be a great way for people to catch up with our growing, changing family :)

So where do I begin? Let me start with a little recap: this has been a crazy year. We moved to SC exactly one year ago, and Brent started working for Duke Energy. He loves his job, which is great -- we couldn't be more blessed in that way. I worked this year as a teacher at Mauldin High School, teaching journalism and writing to kids there. I, however, had to go ahead and take off a little before the year ended at the advice of our doctor. Nothing is really wrong with Anne-Kelly or me, they just thought it was time for me to take things a little easier! I'm going to be staying home with Anne-Kelly next year, which I am super excited about! I cannot tell you how much joy it brings me to know that I get to spend this time with my child. It really is a blessing from the Lord!

On a sadder note, we have also experienced a great loss this year. As some of you know, Brent's father, Gary McDaris, fought a long, hard fight against brain cancer over the last year and a half. However, God saw fit to take Gary home on April eighth of this year. This has been beyond hard for our family to get through, but as Brent's mom has said many times, "God is getting us through this somehow." What a strong mother-in-law I am blessed to have. Her faith in this time in one of life's deepest valleys is truly awe-inspiring. Please remember us in your prayers as we continue the grieving process.

So those are the big things we've been dealing with. But we cling to God's promises, whether the day be dark or full of light: "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28.

This has become a life-verse for us, and we claim it daily.

Which brings me to my next point: blessings. We have found it so important in these days of grief not to lose sight of the good things that God blesses us with daily. As Sara Groves once wrote in one of her earliest songs: "It's the every-day miracles/that keep my hope alive." This has been especially true for us. The blessing and impending arrival of a new life in our family is so exciting! From feeling those first little kicks, all the way through to now when she's almost here, we feel so blessed. We are both literally in awe of what God can do in creating this little life. We often sit in bed at night talking and asking ourselves questions like, "I wonder whose complexion she'll have," or "I wonder what her personality will be like," or even, "I wonder if she'll be musical like me or athletic like you?" All these 'wonderings' are fun, and we can't wait to see what's in store for us!

By the way, I also wanted to take time to explain how we arrived at our name choice: Anne-Kelly Grace McDaris. We put a lot of thought and prayer even into what to call this child, and we knew that we wanted the name to have meaning, depth, and a sense of family. We wanted a strong name that would carry her through her whole life well. So let me take it apart for you and explain what her name means for us:

Anne: Anne was an easy choice for us. Brent's mother's entire name is Sandra Ann, and being the literary nut that I am, my best-loved classic book growing up was Anne of Green Gables. Somehow, deep down, I think I always knew that I'd have an Anne. God just gave us all the more reason to use it by making it Sandy's middle name. As far as the spelling goes, for those of you not familiar with the book, Anne of GG always made sure that she was called 'Anne with an E,' so with Sandy's permission, we tacked the 'e' on the end for good measure! We are so pleased to name our child after her grandmother: an amazing woman of faith!

Kelly: Kelly is a name that I had always loved very much. It is the middle name of my grandmother, Patricia Kelly. Mee-ma, as she was always known to us kids, is also an amazing woman of strength and faith as well. I consider Mee-Ma more than a grandma to me: she's been a friend of my heart for my entire life. It is such an honor to name my daughter after a woman who invested so much in me. She was given the middle name Kelly after her grandparents. Kelly was their Irish surname.

Grace: Grace is a special name for two reasons: Brent's paternal grandmother is named Grace, and I couldn't think of a more beautiful name for a more beautiful person. She, too, is a woman that loves the Lord, and I have learned so much of her 'grace' and courage through watching her deal with the loss of her son. Her reliance on God is pretty unbelievable. Also, the word 'grace' itself is one that is so important in our lives: it's a beautiful word-expression of the love God had for us when he sent Jesus to die for our sins. It is our hope that this component of her name will always serve as a reminder of what the Lord did out of love for her.

So, as you can see, we consider her name pretty special. :)

Well, I guess I've rambled enough. If you've made it this far, thanks for reading. And feel free to drop us a comment or a note if you'd like. We'd love to hear from you!