Like father, like daughter.

I entitled this post, "Like father, like daughter" for the simple fact that Anne-Kelly learned to climb in the last day or two. Brent loves rock-climbing now as an adult, but the stories are many about Brent's climbs up various things as a child. Anne-Kelly's favorite thing to climb is stairs. She figured out how to climb just a few stairs from the sunken den at her Papa Tom's house, but has since graduated to trying to climb our stairs here in our living room. It's time to invest in a baby gate, people.

I'm sort of from the school of thought, however, that I don't want to completely babyproof my house because then she won't learn not to do things. Does that make sense? If you just barricade the stairs, how will she ever learn that she's not supposed to go up them when they are no longer barricaded? There are two ways of thinking about babyproofing, I've heard. Anyway, I think we are definitely getting a baby gate, but we aren't going overboard with all the other gadgets. For example, I only have one cabinet latch, and it is for the cabinet under the sink that has cleaning products in it. The rest of them have stuff in them like pots and pans and tupperware, which is Anne-Kelly's favorite. She drags it all out and has a grand time doing it.

Anyway, looks like this post has gone about as far as it can go. Anne-Kelly is crying and needs her mommy.

A quick update, however. This Thursday we are leaving to go to my parent's farm in Kentucky for the weekend. Joining us will be Brent's mom and brother, his McDaris grandparents (Gary's parents), Aunt Whitney and the kids, and my grandmothers. Possibly my brother too, I'm hoping. We should have a great time, I hope. Or we might drive each other nuts! We'll see. Just kidding about the nuts part, haha. Hope you're having a nice week!

life means so much

Every moment is a gift. Let us never forget it.

I'm up right now, unable to sleep for some reason. The clock reads 1:14 am. All is quiet in my house. I was catching up on reading some blog posts and came across several random blogs, all about either special-needs or premature babies. I don't know why God drew me to these stories this evening, but if I had to guess, I'd have to say it would be to remind me of what I have.

To carry a baby for nine months and then give birth to a perfect little human being whose lungs work and whose brain functions and whose heart beats is in itself an unbelievable miracle. I think about parents who are dealing with all sorts of problems in their sweet babies, and I can't help but ask the Lord: "Why them? Why not me? Why not Anne-Kelly?" I think these things mostly because there was a time during my pregnancy when they ran innumerable tests on me and AKG, and they said words like "chromosomal abnormality" and "intrauterine growth restriction" or "insufficient placenta." During that time, I lived in fear of what was to come. I wondered what we might be facing when we brought our daughter into the world. And yet, here I am, one year later, able to peek into my daughter's crib and see her little chest rising and falling with each tiny breath. And you know what? Each one of those tiny breaths is a gift from God. Each one. Each blink. Each time she cries or spits up on me or looks at me for the millionth time, holds out her arms and says "ma-ma-ma-ma-ma." I pray that the Lord never lets me take her for granted. Not for one second.

"Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward." - Psalm 127:3

joy. brightness. geniune meaning.

Anne-Kelly turned 10 months old this week. I cannot believe it. What a blessing she is. I cannot express in words the joy and brightness and genuine meaning she brings to my life. I wanted to celebrate her little life.

So I was in Target today and I saw the cutest little pink swimsuit with a TUTU around it. Who knows if it's actually a swim suit and the tulle can get wet and all that, but for ten bucks it was worth it and perfect for celebrating Anne-Kelly. Look how adorable she was running around in it today:




















My mom is here visiting all week, which is really fun and nice as well. We're hoping to get some serious cleaning and rearranging done tomorrow. We have promised each other that we're not taking showers tomorrow until we get all our cleaning done. It's going to be a pretty monumental task.

Which reminds me: to all my friends who are pre-baby and possibly thinking about buying a house...be sure to look at all angles before purchasing one. We have zero storage space, especially in the kitchen area, and that is why I'm having to completely regroup when it comes to storage. We were fine until Anne-Kelly arrived! But unfortunately, having another person in the house brings more stuff. Not too much, as I'm trying to be a minimalist when it comes to raising my child...but still stuff nonetheless.

And speaking of stuff, I am starting to plan for Anne-Kelly's first birthday party, at which I'm sure she will receive a great pile of presents. And on the one hand I find it wonderful that our friends and family love her enough to buy her something, but on the other hand, I don't want her to grow up attached to things and as a spoiled-rotten American kid. Part of our deal is that I really don't want a lot of plastic. It seems like every toy out there is made of plastic. Not that we don't have a few plastic ones that we're fond of; we do. However, for the most part, we are shunning the idea of plastic. So I'm hoping to encourage the people who feel obligated to buy presents (which you are most certainly not...your presence is our present!) to buy more classic, wooden toys or books. Those are lasting things that we will keep for a long long time. :) And that is lovely for everyone, including us and the wonderful Earth that we live on.

Which leads me to my final point: it's Earth Day this Thursday, and our family is trying to do our part to live more sustainably. Composting bins and rain water bins are on sale this weekend at Whole Foods, and we're excited to purchase our very first composting bin, yay! Also, we have cut down MAJORLY on the amount of trash we put out this year by cloth diapering, recycling and reusing, and my favorite, of course, breastfeeding. I encourage you to try and live more mindfully toward this sweet world that we live in. It's a gift from God, and it is ours to take care of, is it not?

Prayers your way for a beautiful week.

Jumping, sunshine, and green bean tricks.

Yay! The sun was out today! For the first time in several days, it hasn't been dreary, cold, wet, etc. I was so thankful. Yesterday, I dropped by Whole Foods to pick up a few things, and I bought a lovely bunch of flowers just because I needed a shot of spring! Those of you that know me well know that I am really not a fan of hot weather. I would actually much prefer cold temperatures to warm ones, but I get in a serious funk without sunshine. Most likely due to the fact that I was raised on a big ol' farm, I have to have a good dose of yummy, sunny fresh air in my lungs to keep my body functioning properly. And I got it today :) Thanks, Lord.

Also new on the agenda today was the discovery of a baby jumper that our neighbor gave to us. I initially thought jumpers were a bad idea (in case you don't know what they are, they're those things that hang from a doorway that a kid sits in and bounces around), but Brent, my wonderful engineering husband, did numerous safety tests on the thing and then reassured me that it was safe and sound. I still don't like the idea of putting her in it without watching her closely, but since she's been so fussy in her Exersaucer (see earlier post) I thought I would give it a try.

Well, hallelujah! When we put her in it, she went crazy. You would have thought we'd let the kid drink a mountain dew or something. She started spinning and bouncing and just going reasonably insane. It was all pretty wonderful and cute to watch. I'm hoping to post the video once I have a chance to upload what's on our camera.

On a separate note, I decided to give Anne-Kelly green beans for the second time ever tonight. I haven't really mentioned it here yet, but Anne-Kelly is not a fan of the green veggies. She hates peas so much that she projectile vomits them out if I try and feed them to her. I'd say it more nicely, but there's really no other accurate description, ha. Green beans, however, are just sort of a "I really don't like these so I think I'll grimace until you give me pears" abhorrence. Therefore, being the genius supermom that I am, I decided to give her some pears and cereal with a side of green beans tonight. And here's how it went: two bites of pears, one bite of green beans, two bites of pears, one bite of green beans, two bites of pears, one bite of green beans. And it continued. Believe it or not, it worked! I thought she'd be too smart for me and see through my sly tricks, but she didn't. So now I'm giving myself a pat on the back. That's today's big accomplishment for me. Is that sad? I don't think so.

Anyway, the blog stops here because I have to head for bed. It's nearly ten-thirty, and I'm trying to get up with Brent every morning at 5:45 to start the day now. It's hard, but I get so much more accomplished when I get up early. It also allows Brent and me to spend some time together in the Word before he leaves for work at 6:30. And we find that time invaluable. I can't imagine a better way to start my day.

Love love love this quote

“Certain is it that there is no kind of affection so purely angelic as of a father to a daughter. In love to our wives there is desire; to our sons, ambition; but to our daughters there is something which there are no words to express.”

-Joseph Addison

This reminds me not only of Brent and Anne-Kelly, but of my daddy and me. If you, too, are touched by this quotation, comment and share a story about your dad or husband and daughter!

Independence? Not yet.

So, lately I've been trying to get Anne-Kelly to be a tad bit more independent. Mostly this just means trying to encourage her to entertain herself while playing on a quilt (she can sometimes do this for about 10-15 minutes, which I consider good), hanging out for a few minutes in her Pack n Play while I do some cleaning or make up the bed (we're usually good with this as long as I talk/sing/make silly noises), and today, we worked on enjoying the Exersaucer. In case you don't know what an Exersaucer is, I'll explain. It's just like old-school walkers with the little bucket seat in the middle and all the toys around, except it doesn't roll around. It's on a little teeter-tottering saucer. This is beneficial for those of us with hardwood floors and rugs, as I've heard that walkers can easily get caught on the edge of rugs and flip over.

So, back to the main story. I put Anne-Kelly in her cute little pink and purple Exersaucer (bought secondhand at Jordan's Closet, my favorite children's resale store!), played with a few of the toys with her, and then walked into my kitchen to work on cleaning up from feeding Anne-Kelly. I was in the kitchen perhaps somewhere around 27 seconds when suddenly, I heard a little whimper. I peeked over the kitchen bar into the living room and saw that Anne-Kelly had not only started whimpering, but she had decided she was not at all interested in any of the fabulous toys on her Exersaucer. Since, like I said, it was just a whimper, I continued with my kitchen cleanup. The whimper soon became a yell, at which point she picked up her little butterfly teether and bit it angrily. However, that didn't pacify her for long, and the teething and occasional yelling soon became a bloodcurdling howl, at which point I decided to come pick her up. When I did pick her up, she immediately turned off the waterworks and gave me a great big smile. I know, some might say this means she's a little bit spoiled, but I just don't believe it. Hope y'all are having a great Friday!

Here's a play-by-play of the Exersaucer incident.

The Way I See It.

As a new parent, there is a lot to read. Parenting Magazine. Baby Life. Mothering. What to Expect. BabyCenter.com. Babywise. The Vaccine Book. There is literally a menagerie of reading material when it comes to preparing for parenting.

So naturally, being the voracious reader that I am, I read everything I could get my hands on. I agreed with some. Some enraged me. I was glad I read it all.

And with the reading came the synthesis of information and the forming of my own basic parenting principles. This was, and has been, ever-ongoing since Anne-Kelly's birth. I love that my principles as a parent are very organic. Always growing and changing, just as my child is growing and changing. I guess that's just a fancy way of saying that I'm learning as I'm going along.

However, since I've formed these opinions and started putting them into practice, I was surprised to encounter a lot of resistance. This is probably because the parenting principles that Brent and I have chosen to follow are far from the mainstream. It started when I decided to exclusively breastfeed my baby. Then we began our journey into natural childbirth. Then we decided that, because we care about our carbon-footprint as well as our pocketbook, we were going to cloth diaper. Then wearing baby. And since reading even more, I have recently decided to start feeding our family more natural and organic foods. My friends have jokingly been telling me that I need to grow my hair into dreadlocks and start wearing Birkenstocks. Haha.

It's true, I am changing into more of a mother-earth momma. I've always been sort of a hippie at heart. I couldn't help it! I come from a long line of natural-type mommas and aunts (Thank you, ladies!), and I am proud of the parenting principles I have learned from them. Specifically from my own mother and my Aunt Linda. They had it a lot rougher than myself when they were young moms. According to my Aunt Linda, she didn't know a single person who was breastfeeding her baby in Burkesville when she was nursing Melissa back in 1980. And my mom still gets teased for not weaning me until age two. (By the way, the World Health Organizations recommendations for breastfeeding are to nurse until age two or beyond. See more info here.) I have other friends who have natural-birthed their babies or coslept or, like me, cloth diapered, and all of them have stories about how they have been met with so much animosity, disbelief, and even ridicule for parenting in the best way they can. Because that is the bottom line isn't it? That we are all doing the best that we can with the information we've been given.

Wait a minute. There's the key: "with the information we've been given." Ask any mainstream American mom who follows what is largely considered the norm in this country (for example: rigid schedules, sleep training by letting the baby cry it out, formula-feeding or weaning from breastfeeding prematurely, and the like), and she probably won't be able to tell you why it's important to her to formula feed or let her baby cry or keep the baby on a schedule. And it's not her fault. Unfortunately, mainstream medicine is communicating these practices as the only way, rather than presenting formula feeding, sleep training, and weaning as the options that they actually are. That's all I'm asking for: a little openmindedness. Why not, when you insist on supplementing a small baby with formula, does the doctor not also tell the mom she has the option of pumping more to increase supply and then feed it to her baby in an alternative way? Why not, instead of telling a mom she has to let her baby cry alone in his or her crib, does the doctor not also say that cosleeping is an option when it's done safely. Why not tell moms that it is alright to not have a rigid schedule, and that it's actually better to let the baby determine when he or she needs to eat. It's only fair for women to be educated. However, I'm not saying it's the doctor and the doctor alone who is responsible for educating mothers. This is unrealistic. In actuality, it is your job as a mother to educate yourself. Get out there and read everything you can get your hands on. Ask other moms who have children that you admire what their methods were. And do ask your doctor for his or her recommendations as well. However, realize that that's all they are: recommendations. You are the parent and you have the final word. Don't you want to make the best choices for your child? If so, educate yourself.

I'm sure some of you that are reading probably think I'm a raving lunatic, and guess what? That's ok! Because guess what else? These are my opinions, and that's all they are: opinions. And I'm entitled to my opinions, and you are equally entitled to your own. My point is that we are all entitled to raise our children (and live our lives for that matter) however we deem best, as long as those decisions are based on sound information. For Brent and myself, we base much of our decisions on Biblical principle, as well as what our parents have taught us, medical research, advice from responsible parents that we know, and on plain old instinct. And so far, I feel like it's going pretty well. This is what works for our family.

I suppose what I'm saying, and asking really, is that we should all be more openminded and understanding of one-another's differences, especially when it comes to raising children. The way I do things may not be the same as my friend down the street or my cousin or her cousin or the lady that just gave me the eye for breastfeeding in Cracker Barrel. However, we, as sisters in this awesome adventure called motherhood, should be a little more forgiving to one another. As it says in Psalms, we are all "fearfully and wonderfully made," and we should praise the Lord for that uniqueness!

If you're pregnant, already a parent, or just interested in some good resources, here are some that I love:

- www.askdrsears.com - the Sears family of physicians, a trusted source of medical advice
- www.mothering.com - my favorite magazine for moms, has information about anything you could want to know about babies and parenting
- www.kellymom.com - a great breastfeeding and parenting resource
- www.jilliansdrawers.com and www.cottonbabies.com - all that you could ever want to know about cloth diapering and more
- www.babycenter.com - good basic resource for pregnancy and beyond, has great forums to communicate with other moms
- www.etsy.com - fun site for buying handmade essentials for baby and for yourself. It's just a favorite site that I wanted to share!

Acceptance

As a new mom, I've felt tempted many times to give in and give up when I seem to be faced with what feels like insurmountable obstacles. Launder, scrub, change the baby, feed the baby, repeat. In these superficially mundane tasks it is easy to feel disconnected from God and his almighty ways. This week, I have begun reading the Psalms, and I have been so refreshed by them. I'm only to the fourth Psalm, but I'm already so renewed. It is said that David was a man after God's own heart, but I can't help but think that I am a woman after David's heart! What I mean is that David was so honest about his emotions. So raw about his pain. So open about his conflicting thoughts and deepest hurts and most glorious triumphs. It's all there in the book of Psalms. It makes me feel so connected to David to see my own emotions reflected right there on the page. Anyway, through my readings this week I've realized that God not only sees my mundane chores, He is just as much glorified through them as he is through Pastor Randy's preaching on Sunday mornings!

For me, it was getting past the gratification part. When you think about it, and Donald Miller (author of Blue Like Jazz, a favorite book of mine) once put it this way, the root of all sin is really our own selfishness. Human beings are basically only out for numero uno. Ever notice how we never really do anything unless we get something out of it? Want to donate to a charity? You'll get a tax write-off. Want to send money to orphans in Africa? We'll send you a free gift. And that's what I mean when I say it was all about me getting past the gratification part of work. I felt like I always needed a pat on the back when I did something, like if someone doesn't see it, then what's the point?? I see where you might think this is pretty immature and selfish of me and it is. However, I also believe that this is something that every human heart can identify with whether you want to admit it or not. This is real, ugly, sinful-heart stuff. So anyway, my amazing spiritual leader of a husband also told me this week to start praying that, as the verse says, all the work I do would be as if I were working for the Lord. I have read that verse many times, but it never really sunk in until I became a mom.

Being a mom is a selfless task, and one that I don't know if I'll ever master. By nature, I can be very selfish. I think this probably comes from having one of the most unselfish, self-sacrificing moms around. Not that she made me selfish. I just never had to learn to be unselfish. Mom always said I should have had more younger siblings and that they would have taught me to be more unselfish and giving. If my parents are guilty of anything, it's probably loving and giving too much to my brother and myself. I learned a lot about self-sacrificial love because of them. A cool thing that God has most of us mom's immediately hot-wired for, however, is sacrificing for our kids. And I'm relatively sure my husband would say dads are much the same way. As a mom I still have to fight some selfish tendencies, but the Lord definitely gives you a natural, in-born drive to sacrifice for your kids.

Which leads me to my main point. Or my second point. Or my third rambling. Whatever you want to call it: Staring down at this unbelievable little person lying in her crib makes me want to be a better person. And not just a neat-freak, fix-dinner-every-night-while-wearing-heels, Martha Stuart-ish type of perfectionist mom (which I'm tempted every day to reach for and never attain), but a real person. A person with flaws but who loves Jesus with her whole heart and who shows her daughter the way without telling her. A woman who sings her heart out for the Lord and lives by his Word and serves others. A mom who pours her whole heart, mind, and strength out for her family because she knows that it's the Lord's plan for her to serve her husband and raise her children even though that's not exactly part of her college degree.

So please pray for me that I'll be obedient to the Lord in all these things and find daily contentment in my anointed tasks as a mom. I think that's the only path to fulfillment in life. I encourage you to pray and seek what work the Lord has for you to do to serve him. It may not be glamorous, but I promise you it's beautiful in His eyes. It's only in acceptance of what God's will is for our lives right now that we find true peace. I'll end this post with an apropos poem by Amy Carmichael, a woman-missionary who spent her life pouring out herself for the Lord.

In Acceptance Lieth Peace

He said, "I will forget the dying faces;
The empty places,
They shall be filled again.
O voices mourning deep within me, cease.
'But vain the word; vain, vain;
Not in forgetting lieth peace.

He said, 'I will crowd action upon action,
The strife of faction
Shall stir me and sustain;
O tears that drown the fire of manhood, cease.
'But vain the word; vain, vain;
Not in endeavor lieth peace.

He said 'I will withdraw me and be quiet,
Why meddle in life's riot?
Shut be my door to pain.
Desire, thou dost befool me, thou shalt cease.
'But vain the word; vain, vain;
Not in aloofness lieth peace.

He said, 'I will submit; I am defeated.
God hath depleted
My life of its rich gain,
O futile murmurings, why will ye not cease?
'But vain the word; vain, vain;
Not in submission lieth peace.

He said, 'I will accept the breaking sorrow
Which God tomorrow
Will to His son explain.
'Then did the turmoil deep within him cease.
Not vain the word, not vain;
For in acceptance lieth peace.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Oh, and on a separate note: we went for a nurse-visit to get the Prevnar vaccine today. It's the one that helps prevent infections such as meningitis. Anne-Kelly did great. Cried a little, but forgot all about it as soon as I gave her her milk! She was such a champ. And she weighs fourteen pounds now! She's almost tripled in weight since she was born. I can't believe it. God is SO good. :) Many thanks for all the prayers.

a word of peace for us busy folks

Title: The Calm Spirit of Christ
Author: Elisabeth Elliot

Today is moving day. There will be plenty of reason for fretting and stewing, impatience, and turbulence. I am one who seems to feel that unless I do things or unless they are done my way, they will not be done right, and the day will disintegrate. But I have been watching the sea--very turbulent this morning because of a tropical storm hundreds of miles away--and I remember Him whose word was enough to calm it.

Speak that word to me today, dear Lord: peace. Let your calm spirit, through the many potentially rough minutes of this day, in every task, say to my soul, Be still. Even this day's chaos, with all its clutter and exertion, will be ordered by your quiet power if my heart is subject to your word of peace. Thank You, Lord.

The Case of the Missing Brain

I aptly entitled this blog, "The Case of the Missing Brain," because it basically fits what I've been going through lately! My ability to remember anything seemed to disappear as soon as I became nine months pregnant! And it's not only remembering things that I'm having trouble with (you know, the sort of...."I just walked into this room to get something, but now I can't remember what it is" kind of thing), but I'm also just plain, outright spacey! Now, I know some of you are just sitting there thinking to yourselves, "Rachel - you've always been a little spacey." Ok, point well taken. I am not exactly always overflowing in the common sense department, but things around here these days are just getting ridiculous! So, in the interest of this "case study," let me present some circumstantial evidence:

• Two nights ago, Brent and I had just gotten into bed and were trying to fall asleep when I suddenly remarked: "Gosh, it would be nice if we had a ceiling fan in here. I am so hot!" Well, needless to say Brent started laughing, looked at me, and said: "Honey, we have a ceiling fan. Look up." Totally forgot that I had a ceiling fan in my room! Now...how does that happen!?
• The other evening, things were winding down for the day, and I asked Brent if he would mind refilling my water bottle (or Nalgene as I call it). It had water in it, so Brent asked why I needed it refilled. I told him that I'd filled it up when I was at the pool earlier and it just didn't taste right! Again, Brent starts cackling and looking at me sideways. Then he remarks: "Honey, no wonder it doesn't taste good if you filled it up with pool water!" Ok, in my defense: I didn't fill it up with pool water. I filled it at the water fountain at the pool! However, I seem to have lost the ability to express myself clearly, so Brent just assumed that I had, indeed, been drinking pool water for several hours.

These are just two examples of what I've been going through. Ok, so I realize this is a little bit comical. It's just really hard to remember to do things! I know what you're thinking: make a to-do list, right? Well, the problem is that I make the to-do list, but then I lose it! Haha. Great, I know. I guess this is just how it's going to be from now on. Lots of moms, new and experienced, have told me that your brain subsequently disappears more and more after each child. So I'll be very interested to see how I'm doing by number three!

On a separate note, I went to perinatology (or paleontology, as I sometimes accidentally call it!), which is the specialist we've had to go to to do some growth scans for Anne-Kelly every three weeks. As I said in my earlier post, I had to quit working around 31 weeks. Long story short: I was measuring small, and they sent me to the specialist to make sure Annie was growing ok. The way they measure a baby for growth is by looking at the baby's head, abdomen, and femur (leg) length, and then averaging them. Annie looked normal in every other way, but her little abdomen seemed tiny. So, they said it could be caused by a number of things: 1. I could be getting preeclamptic/toxemia, 2. My placenta could be lagging a bit and not delivering nutrition completely normally, or 3. She could just be a small person! So, we went back after three more weeks (34 weeks), and everything looked good. Her abdomen was still small, but that was when they said it's definitely not preeclampsia, and if my placenta is lagging, it's not enough for her to really suffer. The only way it's affecting her is the fact that she's not quite gaining belly fat. They explained that when a baby's nutrition is a little compromised, that's the way that they "take care of themselves." They're fine without belly fat, so they conserve all the blood flow for their brains, kidneys, etc. And the good news it that I went back this morning at 37 weeks, and they told me I don't have to come back and see them anymore! Wahoo! They said that even though her belly is still little, she seems absolutely normal in every other way, so they're going to leave us alone! This is an answered prayer and a huge blessing. Please just pray that Annie-K continues to grow, and that once she's out here in the world that she'll really start packing on the pounds once I can start nursing her. Also, they think she's about 5 pounds 8 ounces right now, which is great :) If she stays in until 40 weeks (due date), they said she'll probably be somewhere between six and seven pounds.

All this excitement in the past few weeks surrounding Anne-Kelly has taught me a lot. I initially went into the situation with a "woe is me" mentality, worrying about every possibility, and basically trying to take care of things myself. I'm a "fixer" and a "doer" as I'm sure most of you know, and when something is out of my control, I'm usually not a big fan of it. This experience has been a wake-up-call from the Lord, saying, "Rachel: I know you better than you know yourself. I know what is best for you. Trust me." I've heard this over and over and over in my head for many weeks now, and it took a while before I accepted it. However, I have realized that fighting God and accepting His plan are two totally different things. By fighting His will, I felt like Jonah and the whale. I just kept getting swallowed up, overwhelmed, and enveloped in my own self-absorbed darkness. When I realized that by "casting my cares on the Lord" (1 Peter 5:7), I was really letting go of them myself, I felt an amazing burden lift. Instead of being in the belly of my own proverbial whale, I then found myself in a different Biblical tale: walking on the water with Christ. I know this is a familiar story to most of us, but I felt just like Peter when Jesus asked him to get out of the boat and step on to the waves. That water sure did look deep, but when I looked away from the water and into the face of Christ, I forgot all about my worries. And I can't tell you what a freeing experience it is to know that Jesus has all of my life in his more-than-capable hands. And more than that, to know that he has Anne-Kelly's life in his hands as well is pretty humbling.

As parents, and I use the term sparingly because I realize I'm not quite there yet and really have no wisdom on the subject, it seems like we always assume that we know what is best for our children. Amazing how these feeling cropped up for me even at this early stage. But how liberating it is to know that God not only knows me, but he knows Anne-Kelly and He sees every day of the life He has set before her. Wow! So I leave you with these words by David from the book of Psalm. I hope you read them, take them to heart, and stand in wonder at God Almighty who knows us all better than we know ourselves.

O LORD, you have searched me and known me!

You know when I sit down and when I rise up;

you discern my thoughts from afar.

You search out my path and my lying down

and are acquainted with all my ways.

Even before a word is on my tongues,

behold, O LORD, you know it altogether.

You hem me in, behind and before,

and lay your hand upon me.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;

it is high; I cannot attain it.

Where shall I go from your Spirit?

Or where shall I flee from your presence?

If I ascend to heaven, you are there!

If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!

If I take the wings of the morning

and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,

even there your hand shall lead me,

and your right hand shall hold me.

If I say, "Surely the darkness shall cover me,

and the light about me be night,"

even the darkness is not dark to you;

the night is bright as the day,

the darkness is as light with you.

For you formed my inward parts;

you knitted me together in my mother's
womb.

I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

Wonderful are your works;

my soul knows it very well.

My frame was not hidden from you,

when I was being made in
secret,

intricately woven in the depths of the
earth.

Your eyes saw my unformed substance;

in your book were written, every one of
them,

the days that were formed for
me,

when as yet there was none of
them.

- Psalm 139:1-16