A day with "baby Kelly"

As you know, the biggest snow to sweep through the southeast came through in the last few days. Well, it was more like ice for us, but that's neither here nor there. Naturally, because we live in South Carolina, all services at our church, Simpsonville First Baptist, were cancelled. For those of you reading that are thinking, "What? You got one soggy inch of ice!" Let me explain something about us southerners. We are terrified of snow. To us, driving in a light dusting is simply unthinkable and probably up there on the danger scale with something as crazy as skydiving or setting yourself on fire. Ok, so maybe I'm being a bit facetious. But either way, services were cancelled.


However, I'm lucky to be married to my husband, Mr. Adventure. Mr. Adventure stayed in the house yesterday until about 11 am, at which point he declared that he had cabin fever and "had to get out of here!" So after about two more hours of showering, packing up baby stuff, agonizing over whether we should actually go out, and finally deciding it was safe enough for us to go, we set off for Barnes and Noble. By the time we arrived, it was already 10 after five, and there was a sign on the door that said B&N was closing at six o'clock. Guess what? Due to snow! Bah humbug. "Ok, let's go get some Chick-Fil-A," we said then. So we load everything back into the car and set off for Chick-Fil-A, only to see that the sign is not lit. Closed for snow. You've got to be kidding me, I think. So finally we swing by Whole Foods to grab a bite. Just closed at six. Bummer. However, for Mr. Adventure, the trip to Whole Foods wasn't a total loss as the entire parking lot was empty and a solid sheet of ice. To my unfortunate surprise, he decided to take our car straight across the icy parking lot, with true Mr. Adventure style and flair. What this means is that he did anything possible to scare me, Mrs. Cause-and-Effect, you might call me. When we finally made it out of that parking lot alive, we drove down the road to Publix, which was in fact open. We bought one of those Bird's Eye Steam Fresh Meals for Two. This is Mr. Adventure's idea of cooking for me. I appreciate it.

Then we go home to put the little sweet potato to bed. Well, little sweet potato has other plans, since she's currently cutting her second tooth. Needless to say, she didn't go completely to sleep until we did, which was around 11:30. It was a long night, to say the least.

Today, however, we had a great day, in spite of our church's services being cancelled. We met friends from church for lunch at an Italian pizza and grinders place for lunch. After, we headed over to Papa Don and Nana's. These are Gary's parents for those of you who don't know. Nana made us a yummy dinner and followed it up with a delicious banana pudding. Yup, you heard right! We had two amazing banana puddings in one weekend. I guess karma or whatever you'd like to call it wanted to tempt me twice. This time, I did sneak one bite of the banana pudding. I just couldn't help myself. The meringue was too beautiful.

Anyhow, Grayson and Tinsley, son and daughter of Dale, Gary's brother, and Whitney, came over to Nana and Papa's soon after we did. Tinsley loves Anne-Kelly, or "baby Kelly," as she deemed her shortly after her arrival into the world. Tinsley is almost exactly two years older than Anne-Kelly. Her birthday is June 27. Anne-Kelly's is June 17. Anyway, the kids played all afternoon. And by the kids, I mean Anne-Kelly, Tinsley, Grayson, and Brent. Brent and Grayson played basketball, Grayson's new-found passion, and Tinsley entertained Anne-Kelly with various stunts and vocalizations. It was a great evening for everyone. Whitney, Nana, and I also got to have a good talk. As you all know, it's been a rough year for all in the McDaris family, but especially Nana, as she lost both her sons, and Whitney who just lost Dale, her husband, October 8.

But these small gatherings are good for all of us, as the kids keep our family feeling somewhat normal, in spite of all that has happened. As Nana said, the children are what keep her going. So, with that thought in mind, I leave you with a few adorable pictures of our beloved munchkins.

Oh, the weather outside is frightful...

...but the fire at Tom and Charlotte's last night was delightful! For those of you who aren't familiar with the McDaris family tree, Tom and Charlotte are Sandy's dad and step-mom...or great grandparents to Anne-Kelly, if you prefer. Anyway, we went over to their house last night just as the snow was beginning to fall. We had a delicious dinner of ribs, cole slaw, beans, and potato salad, followed up by banana pudding. Brent had some banana pudding, but I opted out since I'm counting my Weight Watcher's points these days. He said it was also to-die-for! We had a ball, as usual, and Anne-Kelly entertained all night. I always joke and say that Charlotte is the "baby whisperer," because she can calm Anne-Kelly more than anyone else. And her great-grandpa Tom never ceases to make her giggle and smile. I took a few photos to share:







Today, we woke up to a small blanket of snow (an inch or so), but mostly ice. That didn't stop us from putting on our cold-weather gear and taking Anne-Kelly out to see her first bit of snow at home. She loves cold weather, as long as she is bundled, and she always sticks her little tongue out into the cold wind. I'm not really sure why, but it's pretty adorable when she does it! :) Here a few photos from our little trip into the great outdoors:








Hope you're enjoying your snow day!

Love love love this quote

“Certain is it that there is no kind of affection so purely angelic as of a father to a daughter. In love to our wives there is desire; to our sons, ambition; but to our daughters there is something which there are no words to express.”

-Joseph Addison

This reminds me not only of Brent and Anne-Kelly, but of my daddy and me. If you, too, are touched by this quotation, comment and share a story about your dad or husband and daughter!

Independence? Not yet.

So, lately I've been trying to get Anne-Kelly to be a tad bit more independent. Mostly this just means trying to encourage her to entertain herself while playing on a quilt (she can sometimes do this for about 10-15 minutes, which I consider good), hanging out for a few minutes in her Pack n Play while I do some cleaning or make up the bed (we're usually good with this as long as I talk/sing/make silly noises), and today, we worked on enjoying the Exersaucer. In case you don't know what an Exersaucer is, I'll explain. It's just like old-school walkers with the little bucket seat in the middle and all the toys around, except it doesn't roll around. It's on a little teeter-tottering saucer. This is beneficial for those of us with hardwood floors and rugs, as I've heard that walkers can easily get caught on the edge of rugs and flip over.

So, back to the main story. I put Anne-Kelly in her cute little pink and purple Exersaucer (bought secondhand at Jordan's Closet, my favorite children's resale store!), played with a few of the toys with her, and then walked into my kitchen to work on cleaning up from feeding Anne-Kelly. I was in the kitchen perhaps somewhere around 27 seconds when suddenly, I heard a little whimper. I peeked over the kitchen bar into the living room and saw that Anne-Kelly had not only started whimpering, but she had decided she was not at all interested in any of the fabulous toys on her Exersaucer. Since, like I said, it was just a whimper, I continued with my kitchen cleanup. The whimper soon became a yell, at which point she picked up her little butterfly teether and bit it angrily. However, that didn't pacify her for long, and the teething and occasional yelling soon became a bloodcurdling howl, at which point I decided to come pick her up. When I did pick her up, she immediately turned off the waterworks and gave me a great big smile. I know, some might say this means she's a little bit spoiled, but I just don't believe it. Hope y'all are having a great Friday!

Here's a play-by-play of the Exersaucer incident.

A Few Belated Photographs

Finally uploaded some photos off the camera from this month. One of my resolutions for this year is to take more pictures with my camera and NOT my iPhone. I'm going to try and periodically post them here. Here are a few from the last few weeks, including Anne-Kelly's seven-month birthday and our trip up to Lexington to see Michael and Tyler. Enjoy!

Happy seven month birthday Anne-Kelly! 1.17.10




Mommy's girl. On the ride home from Lexington. She adores putting her hand in my mouth while she eats.

Anne-Kelly's newfound passion. Daddy let her "drive," and she's been wanting to get up in the front seat with him now every time we stop. She giggles, squeals, and occasionally honks the horn. :)


Anne-Kelly even wore Dudley and Toby out!

Brent's new obsession: Wii. Too bad our TV is 27 inches and we have zero funds!

A snapshot Brent took on the way to or front Lexington. My precious girl.

Anne-Kelly and her Aunt Ty. Aunt Ty will probably kill me for posting this one as she had just gotten out of the shower, but I think she's gorgeous sans makeup.

Hanging with Uncle Michael, our favorite medical student.

The Discipline of the Body

I'm currently reading a book by Elisabeth Elliot (surprise, surprise!) called Discipline: the Glad Surrender. The title is pretty much self-explanatory. However, it is teaching me so much that I thought I might share some of the insight I'm gaining with others. The last chapter I read was about the discipline of the body. This is not an easy topic to read about. And it's not what you think, either. She doesn't mention stopping smoking or drinking or anything obvious like that. She talks, instead, about how our physical state is really a gauge of our spiritual state. In other words, she says that God gave us this body to bring into submission under Him, and if we can't offer our bodies as "living sacrifices," as Paul says in Romans 1, then how are we to submit our hearts, minds, and souls to Him?

This can be a very touchy subject for many, myself included. Mostly because I am first in line when it comes to loving food. I have had to do a lot of searching and praying for discernment in this area in my life. I know I am not terribly overweight, but I am guilty of often over-indulging. I could certainly do better in taking care of my body. The Bible says that our bodies are temples of the Lord, and we should take care of them as such. In Discipline, EE points out that gluttony is one of the most problematic, most recognizable, but least-talked-about of sins in our society. She says that this is because it hits home with so many people, many preachers included, so we don't hear much talk about the seriousness of it.

First of all, eating in itself is not a sin, but in America it becomes one. We are a society of excess. Excess money, excess travel, excess clothing, and especially excess food. And on top of that, not enough exercise. Please note that I am pointing my finger at myself more than anyone else as I talk about this. I am very convicted about this area of my life. But to continue, in other parts of the world, food does not cause people to sin because there is simply not enough of it. Take Haiti, for example. Even before this horrible catastrophe, the nation was quite destitute, and for many Haitians, eating is not for their enjoyment but for their mere survival. To have enough food to eat is a luxury, period. We forget this in America. We are so blessed, and we should never forget it.

So, on that note, let me share what I am doing in response to this new knowledge. Maybe it will inspire someone else to search their heart and do something similar.

1. First, I went to the Lord and asked for His help. I knew I couldn't possibly have the strength to do it all on my own. I asked him what he would have me do, and for him to give me the strength to carry it out.

2. I did know that the number on the scale had, since Anne-Kelly was born, gone a bit higher, mostly due to my negligence in monitoring what I put into my body. I simply wasn't thinking. I knew that had to change, and I had to learn to eat in moderation and with wisdom. What that means is not merely counting calories, but eating things that are good for me. I'm not one to eat a lot of pre-packaged junk like cookies and chips, but I am the queen when it comes to having a sweet tooth. So, I've had to limit my intake of sweets. Too much sugar abuses your pancreas, and the Lord gave me that pancreas. It's part of his temple! I know that might sound a little crazy to refer to a pancreas as part of the temple of the Lord, but it's true. What part of your temple are you abusing? You lungs with cigarettes? Your arteries with fat intake and lack of exercise? Your liver with alcohol? This is just the tip of the iceberg. Another thing that Brent and I have felt led to do lately, which I mentioned in an earlier blog post, is eat as naturally and organically as possible. This means limiting our chemical exposure in foods. I shop at Whole Foods Market, and I only buy what's fresh and on sale. It's actually not much more expensive than what I was already buying! Part of our reasoning for eating organically is simply that we know that the Lord didn't intend for us to take in pesticides, herbicides, growth hormones, and other chemicals. Many chemicals used on fruits and veggies, as well as chemicals used as preservatives in other foods are known to be harmful. Some are even carcinogens, which leads me to the second reason we have decided to eat in this way. As you know, Brent's dad and uncle both passed away this year after battling brain cancer. This made us really take a look at how we care for our bodies, especially Brent's. Even though we don't know what caused Gary and Dale's cancers, we do know that we are not going to do anything to help our chances of developing cancer along. For more explanation on why eating organically is the way to go, click here.

3. Another thing I am doing, not food related, is changing what goes on my body. What I mean by this is taking a look at body care products such as deodorant, lotions, shampoo, and soap. We have switched to products that are as natural as possible, such as Burt's Bees baby products (paraben-free), Tom's of Maine deodorant (aluminum-free, paraben-free), and 365 Shampoos and Conditioners (paraben and phthalate-free as well). If you want to know more about parabens, phthalates, aluminum, and other harmful substances found in body care products, merely google them. You'll find all the information you need. I might write a post about it later, but they're not what I'm here to talk about today.

4. The fourth thing, and hardest for me to learn to do, is exercise. I knew the Lord was calling me to do this more than anything. Exercise requires discipline, takes care of the body, and it even does a lot to clear and focus the mind as well. I'm not talking about beating yourself to death running five or six miles daily. Some people can do that. But for me, simply taking a vigorous 30-minute stroll with Anne-Kelly seems to do the trick. As I get more in shape, I hope to do more, but as a mom, it is often hard to find the time. For a few quick exercises to fit into a busy mom's schedule, click here. Don't forget, though, that many things we moms do can also be counted as exercise. If you don't have time to specifically go out for a walk or to the gym, think about how you do your daily tasks. Laundry, kitchen chores, and cleaning can all be done quickly and efficiently, which can be considered physical exertion. Personal trainers may argue with this, but I think that just standing up and moving around more than sitting is beneficial for you physically.

5. The fifth thing is possibly the most important: sleep. Getting a good 7-8 per night is important, as your metabolism and energy level will suffer if you do not. See this link for more info. I'm sure some people would disagree, but the Lord has definitely convicted me about this area. Staying up late watching television or reading a book then not getting enough sleep causes me to be less of a mother and wife than I should be the following day. This is sinful. I owe it to my husband, my child, and especially the Lord who made me to get enough sleep. I do understand, however, that some people do not have a choice about the amount of sleep they get due to work constraints, etc. That is not what I'm talking about. Do not forget, either, however, that too much sleep can be sinful as well. I, too, am guilty of this behavior. Sleeping the day away, just like obesity, is quietly tolerated in the Christian community. We joke about not being able to get out of the bed in the morning, but in actuality, it is not a joke. The Bible refers to this as being "slothful," and I must say, I can be quite the sloth. This is another thing that I am trying to bring under Christ's Lordship. For more info on the harmful physical effects of oversleeping, click here.

Finally, I hope these personal insights have impacted you in some way. I merely encourage you to pray as well, and ask the Lord how you, too, can discipline your body for Him.

A Poem

Anne-Kelly is my little muse, and lately I've been inspired. Here's a poem I wrote today while she was sleeping in my arms. Hope you like it.

This is our Dance.

Morning light,
we nurse
in frenzied circles.
A ruffled comforter
haystack hair
and the ticking of the clock long forgotten.

Noon,
we whirl and spin
alive and exuberant
under the extravagant
beams of the South Carolina sun.

The setting of the day,
we sway to the sound of
chirping crickets
and
orange sunsets slanting through the shades.

All through the night,
we dance this step
to the beating rhythm of
one heart
in two chests.

The Way I See It.

As a new parent, there is a lot to read. Parenting Magazine. Baby Life. Mothering. What to Expect. BabyCenter.com. Babywise. The Vaccine Book. There is literally a menagerie of reading material when it comes to preparing for parenting.

So naturally, being the voracious reader that I am, I read everything I could get my hands on. I agreed with some. Some enraged me. I was glad I read it all.

And with the reading came the synthesis of information and the forming of my own basic parenting principles. This was, and has been, ever-ongoing since Anne-Kelly's birth. I love that my principles as a parent are very organic. Always growing and changing, just as my child is growing and changing. I guess that's just a fancy way of saying that I'm learning as I'm going along.

However, since I've formed these opinions and started putting them into practice, I was surprised to encounter a lot of resistance. This is probably because the parenting principles that Brent and I have chosen to follow are far from the mainstream. It started when I decided to exclusively breastfeed my baby. Then we began our journey into natural childbirth. Then we decided that, because we care about our carbon-footprint as well as our pocketbook, we were going to cloth diaper. Then wearing baby. And since reading even more, I have recently decided to start feeding our family more natural and organic foods. My friends have jokingly been telling me that I need to grow my hair into dreadlocks and start wearing Birkenstocks. Haha.

It's true, I am changing into more of a mother-earth momma. I've always been sort of a hippie at heart. I couldn't help it! I come from a long line of natural-type mommas and aunts (Thank you, ladies!), and I am proud of the parenting principles I have learned from them. Specifically from my own mother and my Aunt Linda. They had it a lot rougher than myself when they were young moms. According to my Aunt Linda, she didn't know a single person who was breastfeeding her baby in Burkesville when she was nursing Melissa back in 1980. And my mom still gets teased for not weaning me until age two. (By the way, the World Health Organizations recommendations for breastfeeding are to nurse until age two or beyond. See more info here.) I have other friends who have natural-birthed their babies or coslept or, like me, cloth diapered, and all of them have stories about how they have been met with so much animosity, disbelief, and even ridicule for parenting in the best way they can. Because that is the bottom line isn't it? That we are all doing the best that we can with the information we've been given.

Wait a minute. There's the key: "with the information we've been given." Ask any mainstream American mom who follows what is largely considered the norm in this country (for example: rigid schedules, sleep training by letting the baby cry it out, formula-feeding or weaning from breastfeeding prematurely, and the like), and she probably won't be able to tell you why it's important to her to formula feed or let her baby cry or keep the baby on a schedule. And it's not her fault. Unfortunately, mainstream medicine is communicating these practices as the only way, rather than presenting formula feeding, sleep training, and weaning as the options that they actually are. That's all I'm asking for: a little openmindedness. Why not, when you insist on supplementing a small baby with formula, does the doctor not also tell the mom she has the option of pumping more to increase supply and then feed it to her baby in an alternative way? Why not, instead of telling a mom she has to let her baby cry alone in his or her crib, does the doctor not also say that cosleeping is an option when it's done safely. Why not tell moms that it is alright to not have a rigid schedule, and that it's actually better to let the baby determine when he or she needs to eat. It's only fair for women to be educated. However, I'm not saying it's the doctor and the doctor alone who is responsible for educating mothers. This is unrealistic. In actuality, it is your job as a mother to educate yourself. Get out there and read everything you can get your hands on. Ask other moms who have children that you admire what their methods were. And do ask your doctor for his or her recommendations as well. However, realize that that's all they are: recommendations. You are the parent and you have the final word. Don't you want to make the best choices for your child? If so, educate yourself.

I'm sure some of you that are reading probably think I'm a raving lunatic, and guess what? That's ok! Because guess what else? These are my opinions, and that's all they are: opinions. And I'm entitled to my opinions, and you are equally entitled to your own. My point is that we are all entitled to raise our children (and live our lives for that matter) however we deem best, as long as those decisions are based on sound information. For Brent and myself, we base much of our decisions on Biblical principle, as well as what our parents have taught us, medical research, advice from responsible parents that we know, and on plain old instinct. And so far, I feel like it's going pretty well. This is what works for our family.

I suppose what I'm saying, and asking really, is that we should all be more openminded and understanding of one-another's differences, especially when it comes to raising children. The way I do things may not be the same as my friend down the street or my cousin or her cousin or the lady that just gave me the eye for breastfeeding in Cracker Barrel. However, we, as sisters in this awesome adventure called motherhood, should be a little more forgiving to one another. As it says in Psalms, we are all "fearfully and wonderfully made," and we should praise the Lord for that uniqueness!

If you're pregnant, already a parent, or just interested in some good resources, here are some that I love:

- www.askdrsears.com - the Sears family of physicians, a trusted source of medical advice
- www.mothering.com - my favorite magazine for moms, has information about anything you could want to know about babies and parenting
- www.kellymom.com - a great breastfeeding and parenting resource
- www.jilliansdrawers.com and www.cottonbabies.com - all that you could ever want to know about cloth diapering and more
- www.babycenter.com - good basic resource for pregnancy and beyond, has great forums to communicate with other moms
- www.etsy.com - fun site for buying handmade essentials for baby and for yourself. It's just a favorite site that I wanted to share!