The Way I See It.

As a new parent, there is a lot to read. Parenting Magazine. Baby Life. Mothering. What to Expect. BabyCenter.com. Babywise. The Vaccine Book. There is literally a menagerie of reading material when it comes to preparing for parenting.

So naturally, being the voracious reader that I am, I read everything I could get my hands on. I agreed with some. Some enraged me. I was glad I read it all.

And with the reading came the synthesis of information and the forming of my own basic parenting principles. This was, and has been, ever-ongoing since Anne-Kelly's birth. I love that my principles as a parent are very organic. Always growing and changing, just as my child is growing and changing. I guess that's just a fancy way of saying that I'm learning as I'm going along.

However, since I've formed these opinions and started putting them into practice, I was surprised to encounter a lot of resistance. This is probably because the parenting principles that Brent and I have chosen to follow are far from the mainstream. It started when I decided to exclusively breastfeed my baby. Then we began our journey into natural childbirth. Then we decided that, because we care about our carbon-footprint as well as our pocketbook, we were going to cloth diaper. Then wearing baby. And since reading even more, I have recently decided to start feeding our family more natural and organic foods. My friends have jokingly been telling me that I need to grow my hair into dreadlocks and start wearing Birkenstocks. Haha.

It's true, I am changing into more of a mother-earth momma. I've always been sort of a hippie at heart. I couldn't help it! I come from a long line of natural-type mommas and aunts (Thank you, ladies!), and I am proud of the parenting principles I have learned from them. Specifically from my own mother and my Aunt Linda. They had it a lot rougher than myself when they were young moms. According to my Aunt Linda, she didn't know a single person who was breastfeeding her baby in Burkesville when she was nursing Melissa back in 1980. And my mom still gets teased for not weaning me until age two. (By the way, the World Health Organizations recommendations for breastfeeding are to nurse until age two or beyond. See more info here.) I have other friends who have natural-birthed their babies or coslept or, like me, cloth diapered, and all of them have stories about how they have been met with so much animosity, disbelief, and even ridicule for parenting in the best way they can. Because that is the bottom line isn't it? That we are all doing the best that we can with the information we've been given.

Wait a minute. There's the key: "with the information we've been given." Ask any mainstream American mom who follows what is largely considered the norm in this country (for example: rigid schedules, sleep training by letting the baby cry it out, formula-feeding or weaning from breastfeeding prematurely, and the like), and she probably won't be able to tell you why it's important to her to formula feed or let her baby cry or keep the baby on a schedule. And it's not her fault. Unfortunately, mainstream medicine is communicating these practices as the only way, rather than presenting formula feeding, sleep training, and weaning as the options that they actually are. That's all I'm asking for: a little openmindedness. Why not, when you insist on supplementing a small baby with formula, does the doctor not also tell the mom she has the option of pumping more to increase supply and then feed it to her baby in an alternative way? Why not, instead of telling a mom she has to let her baby cry alone in his or her crib, does the doctor not also say that cosleeping is an option when it's done safely. Why not tell moms that it is alright to not have a rigid schedule, and that it's actually better to let the baby determine when he or she needs to eat. It's only fair for women to be educated. However, I'm not saying it's the doctor and the doctor alone who is responsible for educating mothers. This is unrealistic. In actuality, it is your job as a mother to educate yourself. Get out there and read everything you can get your hands on. Ask other moms who have children that you admire what their methods were. And do ask your doctor for his or her recommendations as well. However, realize that that's all they are: recommendations. You are the parent and you have the final word. Don't you want to make the best choices for your child? If so, educate yourself.

I'm sure some of you that are reading probably think I'm a raving lunatic, and guess what? That's ok! Because guess what else? These are my opinions, and that's all they are: opinions. And I'm entitled to my opinions, and you are equally entitled to your own. My point is that we are all entitled to raise our children (and live our lives for that matter) however we deem best, as long as those decisions are based on sound information. For Brent and myself, we base much of our decisions on Biblical principle, as well as what our parents have taught us, medical research, advice from responsible parents that we know, and on plain old instinct. And so far, I feel like it's going pretty well. This is what works for our family.

I suppose what I'm saying, and asking really, is that we should all be more openminded and understanding of one-another's differences, especially when it comes to raising children. The way I do things may not be the same as my friend down the street or my cousin or her cousin or the lady that just gave me the eye for breastfeeding in Cracker Barrel. However, we, as sisters in this awesome adventure called motherhood, should be a little more forgiving to one another. As it says in Psalms, we are all "fearfully and wonderfully made," and we should praise the Lord for that uniqueness!

If you're pregnant, already a parent, or just interested in some good resources, here are some that I love:

- www.askdrsears.com - the Sears family of physicians, a trusted source of medical advice
- www.mothering.com - my favorite magazine for moms, has information about anything you could want to know about babies and parenting
- www.kellymom.com - a great breastfeeding and parenting resource
- www.jilliansdrawers.com and www.cottonbabies.com - all that you could ever want to know about cloth diapering and more
- www.babycenter.com - good basic resource for pregnancy and beyond, has great forums to communicate with other moms
- www.etsy.com - fun site for buying handmade essentials for baby and for yourself. It's just a favorite site that I wanted to share!